31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - day 7

Ok, so maybe I won't post every day. Anyways, I'm back to post about my family's progress toward the zero spending goal. So far it's going very well. I don't have any non-essential spending to report. We did end up doing a rather large grocery shopping on Saturday at the club store we belong to, but that being said we stayed focus on buying only essential ingredients and avoided snack food and beverages.

Day 4: The homework for day 4 was, "plan a meal swap" with the main focus being to cook in bulk. We don't really have anyone locally that we can practically do this with, so we opted to not participate in the swap but definitely did take on the recommendation of cooking in bulk. We've done this before and we're always glad we did. It's also one of the reasons we went to the club store. on Day 4. We stocked up on large quantities of meat and produce which facilitated the created of several portions of Potato Leek Soup, Shepherd's Pie and Pot Roast with fixings. What I liked best was that last night instead of rushing through making dinner I was able to come home, pop the pre-made Shepherd's Pie into the oven and then enjoy a game of Candy Land with my daughter. Not to mention there was far less clean-up after dinner.

Day 5: Day 5 was "eat out at home" day. We haven't done this yet, but I definitely plan on trying the home made Frapucinos!

Day 6: Day 6 was "get a free education" day. This goes back to my #1 money saving tip - "instead of buying something, do something. Personally, I'm working on building my skills on the two musical instruments I play. I'm also taking some time to brush up on my industry knowledge using the free classes available on Coursera. My husband will be back out in the woods hunting next week. Whatever it is, whether the re-invigoration of a once favored pass time or taking up something new by not wasting our days shopping we will find that we have much more time to build more fruitful skills.

Day 7: Day 7 is for "Week 1 Reflection". So far it's going really well. Personally, I'm not a big shopper to begin with. I loath shopping actually, but there are still silly little ways we all waste money even if we're not mall dwellers. I think for my family the biggest realization was that we have to do a better job meal planning, and also to stay away from the coffee shops. We love our mochas, but not enough for them to be a line item on our budget.

The next two days are all about cleaning the house. While I appreciate the gesture, the author of the blog hosting this clearly does not work a 9-5 like I do. Hauling out the house in the middle of the week doesn't exactly fit my lifestyle. So, I'm going to work that in where it works best for me. My husband and I actually did a pretty big cleaning a couple of weeks ago, so I might come up with some alternatives for the next couple of days. Stay tuned!

Be Well,
- Nicole

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - day 3

I know I said I would post every day and have already missed a day, but in all fairness I was down for the count yesterday with a bad head cold and didn't have the brainpower to formulate a blog post. I'm back on track though and ready to move forward with the challenge. Here's a a bit of a recap.

Day 1 - Went very well. We did send the dog to dog daycare, but if you knew my dog you would know that is a necessity. If he doesn't go at least once a week he becomes impossible. Some might disagree, but I'm calling that a necessity.

Total unnecessary spending - $0

Day 2 - Could have been better. I mindlessly bought some ice cream and a bone for my dog, both which were certainly not necessities. Especially considering I have all the ingredients for brownies and/or a variety of cookies at home if I really wanted something sweet. 

Total unnecessary spending - $8.18

Today - Today is going well. There is one major thing I should mention, however. My husband is buying a new truck today. It's something we have been going back and forth on for a while. He really needs it for his line of work and as much as we have tried to make due with our current vehicles, the time has come for him to make this purchase. To be fair though, we began researching and arranging this before we knew about the challenge so I'm giving us a pass on this. 

Now the homework for yesterday was to clean out the pantry and today's assignment was to do some meal planning. I will be working on both of those tonight. This part is especially interesting to me because I think a lot of people have the misconception that eating well is expensive. I joke, however, that my husband and I ate the healthiest when our income was at it's lowest. When we were first married I was a full time college student. We spent a good amount of time living primarily on oatmeal, beans, cheddar cheese, vegetables and rice. It's actually amazing how many great recipes you can make with these simple foods as a base. Not to mention that your wallet and waistline will thank you for it.

So that's my task over the next 24 hours. Go through the cabinets and see what's for dinner this week. While I don't keep a lot of back stock, I know I have an abundance of dried beans that are waiting to be cooked up. Off the top of my head I'm thinking I have the fixings for Potato Leek Soup, Mung Dal, Vegetarian Chili, Beans, Rice & Tomato (one of my favorite budget meals) and Shttp://www.livingwellspendingless.com/31-days/livingwellspendingzero/paghetti. I'll update tomorrow and let you know if I find any surprises!

Be Well!

- Nicole

What Ruth Said - 31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero

Whoa, where did September go? I've been very busy with a host of projects over the last few weeks. My jaw dropped when I realized I hadn't posted since August! That being said, sometimes when life becomes hectic it becomes easy to let our guard down when it comes to our personal financial habits. So, I'm taking the month of October to re-evaluate and re-prioritize using the "31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero" challenge from "Living Well Spending Less".

I will be posting daily using Ruth's daily prompts. Today involves setting ground rules. We all have different definitions about what is "essential spending" and there may some things that we're already committed to that will involve some "non-essential spending". For example, being a parent of a pre-schooler I will have some costs associated with Halloween. I'm also part of a wedding party in early November that will result in some expenses. That being said, I can still step back and look closely at each related purchase and make an effort to do it as inexpensively as possible.

We'll see how it goes. Check it out and stay tuned!

Be Well,
Nicole

Why I Quit Candy Crush

The Importance of Breaking Bad Habits

I've never been much into video games, but it seems that every few years there will be that one game (Tetris, JT's Blocks, Snood, Angry Birds) that sucks me in. When this happens it seems no matter how much I try to set limits, I find myself going back for more throughout the day. I'll find any excuse to "take a break" or "go to the bathroom" just to sneak in a session during which I'm certain I will make it past the level I've been stuck on. Maybe you can relate, or maybe not. But, even if it's not a video game habit, there can often be these little innocuous addictions that pop up in our lives that before we know it really begin to affect our overall wellness.

How did I know Candy Crush was becoming a problem? I started to experience cognitive symptoms that felt, what I imagine to be, similar to ADD. I was having trouble remembering things, focusing on tasks, keeping myself organized and meeting deadlines. I became more lax with personal tasks like housekeeping, financial record keeping, and meal planning. I was less interested in leisure activities I enjoy such as reading, writing and sketching. Instead of going for a walk on my lunch break, I would sneak in a few more rounds. Clearly it was time to stop the obsession.

I had attempted to quit Candy Crush before, going weeks without playing, but would inevitably end up convincing myself to play "just one round" and then wind up hooked once again. Like many addictive behaviors it was not going to be enough to "cut back", I was going to have to eliminate it completely. So, as of this afternoon I have officially deleted the game from my Facebook and removed the game from my phone.

Now, for those of you out there who have never been sucked down the rabbit hole of gaming this may sound ridiculous, but truthfully most of us have some sort of insidious coping mechanism that we would be better off with out. It could be drinking too much coffee, too much television or obsessive checking of e-mail and social media. Whatever it is we're all doing it for the same reason; a quick hit of dopamine that makes us feel oh-so-good, for at least a few minutes. It's no wonder why these bad habits tend to manifest when we may be feeling stressed or unhappy.

So think about it, and whatever it is for you, join me and quit it. Pick a date, make a plan, pick a healthy replacement and be a better you!

Be Well!
- Nicole

Embracing Autumn; The Other "New Year"

There is something about the cooler weather and shorter days of late August that never ceases in offering me a sense of pleasant anticipation. For me, the feeling of fall brings with it a sense of "returning to normal". I know that my perspective does not apply to everyone, but I know there are others out there who can relate to what I'm saying here. While I love the summer with it's warm weather, cook-outs, camp-outs and swimming, the hectic frenzy of weddings, family reunions and late nights celebrated in a haze of humidity can also be very draining. By this time of year I'm ready for a change in pace.

More than any other time of the year, fall has always presented as my best time for renewal. Maybe it's my introverted nature or years of being habituated by the rhythm of the school calendar. Perhaps it's the fatigue that comes from the sense of urgency created by the short New England summer to cram in as much fun as possible. Whatever it is, the sense of everything slowing down offers me the best opportunity to reexamine and re-energize.

Items to consider...

Intellectual Development - With the coming school year we are all inundated by the marketing messages of, "back to school." Regardless of whether or not we ourselves are students, or parents of one, this is a good time to think about where we're at with our own intellectual development. I use the term intellectual development instead of "education" because I think when we hear the word "education" we are apt to think of classes and textbooks. While taking a class is certainly part of this, it's not the only means of working our minds.

On a professional level we may work in a field that requires continuous education in which case we may be meeting this need by happenstance. For others we may not have this requirement and may need to make more of a personal effort to gain additional expertise in our profession. If your line of work does not require specific continuing education requirements, see what's available for literature, quality web content and conferences to help keep you up to speed in your field.

On a personal level, exploring areas such as our own spirituality, hobbies and interests are other avenues where we can experience intellectual development. It could be as simple as reading the biography of someone we admire, or as in depth as attending a retreat or going back to school.

Why is this important? - If we don't occasionally look outside of our own world we can become very self-centered. Before we know it we don't see past our own little world of self, children, spouse, job and all of the little in's and out's of our daily lives. By taking some time to learn something new we make connections with the world around us and are better able to balance our own sense of being with that of others.

Housekeeping - Nothing bogs us down practically and spiritually more than unnecessary clutter. It's time to get organized! There are few things in life that offer as much instant gratification as cleaning out a closet or cluttered desk. Yet we will always tend to put these sorts of things off if we don't set aside the time to deal with them.

If your not sure where to begin the best first step is often going room by room and seeing what can simply be tossed or donated. Closets and basements are usually the best places to start. From there it's a matter of going from space to space to sort out what goes where. The goal should be for everything to have it's own place and to avoid just sticking things in random places. If you need supplies to assist with storage and organization discount stores like Big Lots can be a great place to obtain containers and shelves. there are also TONS of great blogs solely dedicated to home organization.

Finances - As an extension of housekeeping, examining our finances using the "Prosperity Check" is a must this time of year. The stretch between summer vacation and the holidays is a great time to sit down and see where we're at financially. It's also a good time to plan a budget and savings plan for Christmas shopping, holiday parties and other year end obligations so we're not having to do financial gymnastics at the last minute to cover these expenses if we choose them.

Our Health - With access to fresh produce at it's peak and cooler temperatures prevailing, the fall is an ideal time to take a look at our diet and fitness habits. While I'm not a health and fitness expert I do feel confidant in saying that whatever approach we take it should be moderate and sustainable. Avoid fad diets, harsh cleanses and quick fixes. Sending yourself on a physical roller-coaster will inevitability be felt mentally as well and in the end will only prove to do more to move us away from our goals than toward them.

We also need to consider our mental health as well. What's working? What's not working? Are we taking time to decompress throughout the day, or are we frenetically bouncing from one task to the next? Are we embracing our spiritual practice or pushing it aside? There is nothing like a cool, rainy fall day to take some time for prayer and/or meditation.

Make Your Plan - Whether we choose to focus on one of these things, all of these things, or subjects not even covered here the most important point to all of this is that we're checking in with ourselves to make sure we're on track toward personal growth and that we're not holding ourselves back with procrastination and excuses.

Be Well,
Nicole

The Perplexing Case of Ohio State

A Symptom of a Bigger Issue

The director of the award winning Ohio State marching band was fired recently for allegedly allowing a hyper-sexual culture in the band program that, in the opinion of some, amounted to sexual harassment. Now we don't really know what exactly happened other than what has been reported by the media. However, the general feeling is that decades of somewhat risque traditions came to a screeching halt when a handful of people became offended.

Now what does this have to do with career, money and our lives? The fact is that this type of scenario is a symptom of a much broader issue. It was not that long ago when women were often expected to brush off advances and even unwanted touches by their boss. In response we saw the feminist movement and slogans like, "no means no" and "take back the night". It was a necessary and well intended change, but I have to wonder if in some cases we're missing the point of these efforts.

I once had a friendly debate with a friend on the topic. I suggested that women should stand up for themselves and set boundaries when faced with an inappropriate male attention. She argued that this was blaming the victim, that women shouldn't have to do anything and that men should just know better. I agree that in a perfect world that should be the case, but the fact is no matter how much progress women make toward equality there will always be chauvinists. There are also some cases where the offending party may not even realize that their actions are unwanted. The question then becomes, what do we brush off? When should school administrators, HR departments, or in this case, the State Attorney General become involved? At what point do we jeopardize someone's future because we were offended?

It's a delicate balance. Working in a male dominated industry I can honestly say I wouldn't be able to function in my industry if I allowed myself to become flustered by every sexist comment or act of chauvinism I've encountered from co-workers, bosses and even clients. It demands a unique sort of tolerance. That's not to say we should be tolerant of everything. There are times when behavior crosses a line and it becomes necessary for a third party to become involved to resolve a particular situation. And of course a full on assault is absolutely never acceptable. That's not what I'm talking about here. What I'm talking about is more the day to day casual comments or even traditions that might raise eyebrows but are not necessarily done with malice.

We also have to consider how, as a culture, we're handling this. It seems that an unfortunate consequence of the feminist movement is that on a societal level men are now seen as predators and women as victims. Instead of playing the blame game we should be working together to set reasonable boundaries. We should also communicate with each other when appropriate to work out our differences. Not just in instances like these, but in many organizational disagreements. Too often I see people running to the boss and blindsiding their co-worker when it is something that should really be resolved between those involved.

I suppose tolerance and communication is the lesson in all of this. I've said it before and I'll continue to say that we have to accept that we can't control the behavior of others. We have to expect that occasionally people will say and do things that are inappropriate and offensive. If we waste our energy walking around being offended and angry, we're only hurting ourselves. Deal with it or be done with it!

The Mystery of the Boomerang Generation

I am a young 30 something, right on the cusp of the millennial generation.What makes a Gen Y person like me different than a Millennial? I remember life before cell phones and computers. I grew up with a television the size of an oven. We had rotary phones, enormous sedans, and permed hair. I well remember the Gulf War and when Russians were the default bad guys in action films. The Clinton years, grunge and MTV were the hallmarks of my youth. Then something changed.

No this isn't going to be yet another writing about the worthlessness of "kids these days." There are a lot of things that I think Millennials do better than those of us who came before them. They demand tolerance and equality. They are largely very thoughtful and intelligent. They also have big dreams and reject conventional consumerism. While all of these traits are a breath of fresh air, they can also make for their own undoing.

A number of studies have shown that marriage is down, birth rates are down and the workforce is aging because so many young people are simply not participating in the "normal" passages of adulthood. In some respects I think it's great that young people are carving out their own definitions of what their lives should be like rather than just adhering to societal norms. At the same time, there has to be some balance and an understanding that not every aspect of life is going to be a profound experience. 

Sometimes we all have to work the job we don't like or take the boring general education class. These days when so much of our lives are customizable it can be easy to forget that sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Unfortunately for these "boomerang" kids, they don't appear to see that as an option. There is a mentality of, "I went to college for X, so I am only going to do X." Especially in cases of non-traditional or arts based majors it seems that no one ever explained to them that they might need to get creative, or work a day job for a while.

It's not that I'm trying to bash these folks, nor do I look down on them. Some of these individuals are people I know and love. They're well intended, but they're beating themselves up and gradually giving up on their dreams because their expectations are just way too high in regards to where they expect to be in the short term. 

So, what's the solution? There is no real system that can be applied to existential crises such as this. What I have found when people like this open up to me is that they tend to respond well if they understand that in various ways we've all been there. We all hate our jobs sometimes, wish we lived in a different area or feel like our lives are just simply boring. It doesn't make us failures or mean we sold out. We just recognize that our lives move through cycles and hiding out in our childhood bedrooms is not a solution. Sometimes we're doing exciting things and sometimes we're not.

The bottom line is that life moves in cycles. Despite what the internet culture has lead us to be conditioned to, we can't always have what we want, when we want. We have to learn to embrace the process of reaching our goals and celebrate not only achieving what we want, but the also small accomplishments along the way.