We're Gonna Party Like It's 1949

It has certainly been a while since my last post. While I would prefer to always post regularly I find I tend to go though waves of inspiration and would rather wait until something catches my attention and seems worth writing about rather than post random thought trains.

What was it that inspired me today you might ask? Well, I was watching the show Bletchley Circle last night which is a show takes place in the early 1950's in London where a serial killer is on the loose. A group of WW2 veteran code breakers team up to try and find the killer. Aside from the interesting plot and classic British style of television I love so much, there was something else that caught my eye. I could help but feel appreciation for the simpleness of their lifestyle. There is no constant checking of smart phones, no glow of televisions or excess of nick-knacks and clutter around their homes. They complete their research at the library and record's offices. When they want to speak to someone they either pay them a visit or call them on the phone. When they have time to spare they'll take out their knitting or research new recipes. All of the things it seems I often wish I had time to do they're doing simply by not having access to so many convenient distractions.

Now I'm not one to be under the illusion that life was perfect before modern technology and conveniences entered our lives. In decades past they had their own issues too, but it seems the evolution of those changes were a bit more gradual. Smartphones and social media, in particular, have hit us hard and fast and have completely changed how we interact with one another. Then comes the desire for larger houses, multiple vehicles and extravagant vacations. It's no wonder we're starting to see a backlash represented by tiny houses and communal living. As humans we're social animals and many are starting to see through the fog of luxury.

I would encourage everyone to examine your life now compared to how it was 20 or more years ago. Have modern comforts and conveniences really made you any happier, healthier or wealthier? I imagine in many cases they've done quite the opposite. I don't mean to bash modern life as some do. There are a lot of benefits to the advances that have been made; however, each of us should consider regularly monitoring how we engage with these advances and be aware of how and why we're using them. Be honest!

Be well,
~ Nicole

Happy New Year

My Take on Goal Setting and New Year's Resolutions...

It seems hard to believe that another year has come and gone. When I was young it seemed that time moved so so so slowly. I remember being very clear in what I wanted and the agonizing pace at which time seemed move as I longed to reach the ages where I could achieve what I wanted to do. Now I find that the older I get the more I have to make a deliberate effort to slow things down and check in with myself to make sure I'm not just spinning my wheels or even moving away from what I desire. Without taking time to self-reflect and set new goals for ourselves we risk spending years without any real personal growth.

Now let me be clear that just watching myself type the phrase "set new goals" immediately made a part of my brain say "ew, no we don't like goals." When we're young our family and our culture largely dictates for us what our goals should be. From the first day of kindergarten to graduation day, the milestones we need to achieve what we want are largely assigned to us without us realizing it. Then we get to a certain age when we need to start setting our own more personalized goals. 

When I first began learning about goal-setting it involved picking a specific desired achievement and then making a detailed list of objectives to describe how that goal would be achieved. If that works for you - great. For this Gemini, that is a far too rigid approach in most cases. Personally I like to take a more fluid approach toward personal growth. Like most people my enthusiasm waxes and wanes. Instead of feeling like I failed because I only practiced piano once this week instead of four times I try to focus on simple forward motion. As long as by the end of the month I've made some progress in my playing I will be happy with that. It doesn't mean I won't work as hard at it, I'm just eliminating that sense of stress and feeling of failure that comes from unnecessary check lists.

That being said, there are times when specific goal setting is necessary. There are some areas of our lives like personal finance, our jobs and even our health where we might need to be more hyper focused on completing specific tasks on a day to day basis. Maybe you like to keep a clean inbox or make a point to take a walk every day. Creating healthy habits is absolutely the foundation of long term personal growth. It's difficult to grow if we have too much clutter in our lives. Major changes however often require a different approach and an authentic emotional investment.

It's often an oversimplification to simply strive for a particular job position, body type or financial status. To really become motivated and achieve something that's going to be life changing we should, as much as possible, actually want to do it. If our New Year resolution is to "eat healthier" that shouldn't be the beginning and end of our goal. What do we really want to do? Improve our health? Learn new recipes? Be better at meal planing? Breaking major changes down into smaller parts allows us to create a process that can actually be enjoyable rather than a chore and make us actually want to stick with it. 

Weight loss for example is a common New Year's resolution. For many of us though there is so much emotional baggage surrounding weight and food that this task can quickly become overwhelming. Instead of focusing on such a broad goal we would likely be better served by choosing a related goal. We could make a point to walk daily, or eat vegetarian a couple of times per week. If you're a gadget geek trying something like the FitBit might be fun. 

Whatever goal we have it should resonate in a way that we get excited about what we're trying to achieve. 

Be Well,

- Nicole

Why I Quit Candy Crush

The Importance of Breaking Bad Habits

I've never been much into video games, but it seems that every few years there will be that one game (Tetris, JT's Blocks, Snood, Angry Birds) that sucks me in. When this happens it seems no matter how much I try to set limits, I find myself going back for more throughout the day. I'll find any excuse to "take a break" or "go to the bathroom" just to sneak in a session during which I'm certain I will make it past the level I've been stuck on. Maybe you can relate, or maybe not. But, even if it's not a video game habit, there can often be these little innocuous addictions that pop up in our lives that before we know it really begin to affect our overall wellness.

How did I know Candy Crush was becoming a problem? I started to experience cognitive symptoms that felt, what I imagine to be, similar to ADD. I was having trouble remembering things, focusing on tasks, keeping myself organized and meeting deadlines. I became more lax with personal tasks like housekeeping, financial record keeping, and meal planning. I was less interested in leisure activities I enjoy such as reading, writing and sketching. Instead of going for a walk on my lunch break, I would sneak in a few more rounds. Clearly it was time to stop the obsession.

I had attempted to quit Candy Crush before, going weeks without playing, but would inevitably end up convincing myself to play "just one round" and then wind up hooked once again. Like many addictive behaviors it was not going to be enough to "cut back", I was going to have to eliminate it completely. So, as of this afternoon I have officially deleted the game from my Facebook and removed the game from my phone.

Now, for those of you out there who have never been sucked down the rabbit hole of gaming this may sound ridiculous, but truthfully most of us have some sort of insidious coping mechanism that we would be better off with out. It could be drinking too much coffee, too much television or obsessive checking of e-mail and social media. Whatever it is we're all doing it for the same reason; a quick hit of dopamine that makes us feel oh-so-good, for at least a few minutes. It's no wonder why these bad habits tend to manifest when we may be feeling stressed or unhappy.

So think about it, and whatever it is for you, join me and quit it. Pick a date, make a plan, pick a healthy replacement and be a better you!

Be Well!
- Nicole