Go Away Demon!

Disconnecting From Toxic People and Situations

I was on one of my thought trains the other day, venting in my own head about a current situation in my life when I just hit a wall and thought, "Enough is enough. I'm not spending any more mental energy on these people or this situation." It got me thinking about ghost hunting shows and how those who feel they have demons in their home deal with them. If you've never seen one of these shows the approach generally boils down to a blunt demand of "Go away demon!" which will often be followed by some prayer.

Now I don't think the people or situation I'm dealing with are demonic necessarily, but I do think this is a helpful metaphor. There are times in our lives when we are forced to deal with toxic or even abusive people. These relationships can be very draining and even psychologically damaging if we're not able to effectively manage them. Often times we can co-exist with most individuals through healthy boundaries; however, there are times when this may not be enough and we have to admit that there will never be peace with the given dynamics.

How do we know when enough is enough? Well, there are a few things to look at. Do you find yourself constantly venting about the person or situation? Is someone abusing, harassing or discriminating against you? Do you find yourself having arguments in your head with this person? Do you feel the need to constantly have to defend or explain yourself for seemingly no reason? Is someone deliberately sabotaging you, gossiping, spreading lies, etc? Are you experiencing anxiety or depression related to this person or situation? You don't need to justify your worth to an abuser. You don't need explain your rights to someone with prejudice. You don't need to tolerate harassment. If any of these are a persistent part of our reality it may be time to accept that this is a situation or relationship that can't be improved and it's time to move on. But what if you can't make an immediate exit?

There are varying reasons why we may have to bide our time in a less than stellar situation. As long as we are not at risk of serious harm this can be managed using one simple technique. Get ready and say it with me..."Go away demon!"

I know it seems dramatic, but first off let me say this isn't something I expect anyone to say out loud and it probably shouldn't be said to anyone directly. Maybe you don't use this at all, perhaps another mantra would work better for you. Why I like this particular saying is simply this. When someone believes they have a demon in their home they've generally come to the consensus that there is an energy force in their house that is not conducive to their well being. They don't want to make peace with it, rationalize with it, explain their rights to it. They recognize that this is an entity that is not interested in existing in harmony with those around it and there is nothing they can do to change that. They simply want it gone.  Often time these situations and individuals are like that and the more we engage with them or even about them to others or in our own head the more we perpetuate the madness they create in our lives.

Our natural reflex is always going to be to want to defend ourselves and maybe even stew in frustration about how we've been wronged. We do this because we don't want to be misperceived, but mostly we do it because deep down most of us just want to get along with each other and it's bothersome to not be able to "make it work". Unfortunately the feeling is not always mutual.