A Little Dab Will Do Ya

When I started this blog I was hoping to regularly post each Thursday. I had a back log of material I wanted to cover and thought that would carry me through for a while. Now after a few months of posting I find myself a bit distracted with other activities and obligations. While I certainly intend to keep this blog going I am going to relax my Thursday deadline and stick to posting when I feel compelled to do so, which I'm hoping will be at least a couple of times per month. By doing this I feel that the content I offer will be richer and deeper than it would be if I was just churning out posts for the sake of it.

With all of this considered I must admit that I am a dabbler. I am prone to what I believe to be fantastic ideas for a variety of projects, making the first few moves and then never following through. In addition to blogs there have been bouts of jewelry making, sewing, painting, novel writing, skiing, golf, knitting and crochet. I used to beat myself up about it, but have been able to forgive and accept this somewhat annoying trait. At the same time I have learned how to moderate it.

The way I figure dabbling is better than being afraid to try; however, when we need to watch our budget, running out and buying supplies or equipment for something we won't follow through with is not necessarily the best idea. So what's a dabbler to do? 

In the past when I would dabble in something I would have big ideas about where it would go. After I bought a set of golf clubs I immediately started looking into tournaments. When I took up various crafts I imagined how I could turn it into a business. That's not to say that these weren't realistic long term goals, but there needs to be realistic expectations about how we'll get there. We dabblers need to learn to take baby steps.

A good way to start is with some simple research. One thing that has really curbed my dabbling is the simple existence of the internet. These days it's much easier to find out material costs and the true amount of time and skill required for any given activity. There are blogs and message boards by the hundreds where we can learn from others who have been there and done that before we make a huge investment of our own time and money.

I also like to categorize my new pursuits as low, medium or high impact. Low impact would be activities like writing or drawing that cost little to no money and can be worked into our regular schedule. I give all low impact activities a free pass. When it comes to these I say, dabble away! Medium impact activities would include activities that would be a minimal investment and moderate equipment and time considerations. This would include most crafts, sports, theater, music and arts. High impact would be those activities that would have a major impact on our budget and lifestyle. These would be things like horseback riding, car racing or pursuing a degree. Overall, the higher level of impact, the more time and research should go into researching before we take the plunge.

I hope you're all having a fantastic start to the summer!

Be Well! 

- Nicole

Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse

My apologies for missing my Thursday deadline again. Where did this week go! That being said I thought I would use the fact that I'm writing today, on Friday the 13th under the full moon, to address a very serious topic, with a dash of humor - the zombie apocalypse.

People who don't already know might be surprised that I'm really into zombie movies and the whole philosophical idea of a zombie apocalypse. Zombie movies are not simply gory films, but a metaphor for a society that has checked out in someway. They're about the most serious forms of psychic attack that can ultimately cause us to turn on ourselves and each other. These movies offer a visual representation of what happens to us emotionally when we lose our sense of purpose or struggle to maintain our own integrity and virtues when the world seems determined to derail us.

There are many ways we can see this happening around us. In the area where I live one of the major culprits is the use of heroin. My neighbor lost two of his former classmates in the last week alone to this horrible drug. Both of them were under 35. It makes me wonder what leads a person to make the decision to incapacitate themselves. This is of course an extreme example, but it is becoming more common. Even in cases that don't result in death it seems that as a population we are struggling more and more with our ability to cope with every day life.

So what do we do to prevent ourselves from heading down this rabbit hole? Well the first thing we need to recognize is whether or not we're predisposed to self-destructive behavior. If we're experiencing clinical depression, an eating disorder, abusive relationships, addiction or other compulsive behavior, professional help is the necessary next step. Many people though often feel they are more or less just mildly miserable as they go through their daily life. These individuals might not be ready to put a needle in their arm, but it doesn't mean some change isn't needed.

Many people I know in this situation are often stuck in a victim mentality, at least when it comes to certain areas of their lives. They see their situation as something that happened to them and don't believe they themselves have control. How to shake this will vary from person to person. The first step and most difficult step is always the self awareness to know that we need to make a change and that it's up to us to do so. We can't sit around waiting for our boss to make our job better or our spouse to make our relationship better. From there comes the task of learning to cope with the challenges we face.

I don't have any quick answers for this. The journey will be different for everyone, but the key is that if we don't want to become a society riddled with gun violence and drug use we must learn to cope. The threat of a zombie apocalypse is metaphorically always threatening, but through love, compassion and hope we can work together to scare those zombies away.

Happy Friday the 13th!

- Nicole

Simple Ways to Save Today!

I thought I'd go with something quick and to the point today - simple ways to save. None of this is likely to be new, but we can all use reminders. It's easy to mindlessly spend. Occasionally we all need some motivation to put those credit cards away. So what should we be doing?

STOP Window Shopping:
Many of us waste time roaming the malls or browsing online at the latest cell phones, cars, clothes, books, etc. We might think that there is no harm in it, but trust me, marketing is an incredibly powerful tool to those who know how to use it well. If you browse you will want to spend. So, unless there is something you're truly interested in purchasing, stop window shopping! There are far better things we can do to fill our time.

Revisit What You Have:
Most of us having things lying around that at one time we had to have, but that's now collecting dust. Some common ones are exercise equipment, video game systems, hobby kits, musical instruments, golf clubs, bicycles etc. If we're looking for something new to entertain ourselves, why not revisit something we already invested in?

Buy Used:
There are very few things I have in my house that are new. As much as possible I buy what I can second hand, especially furniture.

Scout Online For Clothes:
I rarely shop for clothes in the store. There are tons of savvy shopper out there who have made a business for themselves by purchasing and reselling clothes on e-Bay. I can usually find brand name tops and pants for a fraction of what they cost in the store. The trick is to find brands that you know fit consistently so there is no worry about returns. Not a fan of e-Bay? Even regular retailers most often offer their best deals and selection through their online clearance sections. I always recommend checking these out before heading to the store. Not to mention what you'll save in time and gas!

Eat Real Food:
This one helps your wallet and your waste line. My husband and I have always joked that when we were first married, the poorer we were the better we ate. To us things like soda, cookies, beer & wine, and other snack foods were always viewed as a treat that we often did not have room for in our budget. As an affect we got out of the habit of buying many of these items. Yet it seems that many people just take these items as "must-haves" on their shopping list. I'm not saying you have to be a health nut, just consider the cost of this habit.

Plan Meals:
A big trouble spot in my budget has always been eating out. When life gets busy, the first thing that usually gets sacrificed is meal planning and grocery shopping. It takes time, but making a point to go through the flyers and make a shopping list that includes everything you'll need to get through the week will be well worth the time. A great tool to help with this is www.emeals.com. I've used e-meals off and on over the years. It's a great way to get in the habit of meal planning and also to try out new recipes. It's a fantastic system and a huge time saver!

Plan Backyard Adventures:
You don't have to go on an exotic vacation to have a good time. There are often times dozens of things to do within our own communities or just a short drive away. Instead of focusing on expensive vacations, see what's available locally or as a weekend getaway.

Fake It 'Till You Make It

I'm obviously a few days late with my blog post. Unfortunately last week I faced the loss of a dear family member. I wanted some time to think about how I could apply this experience to my message here. While going through the grieving process it occurred to me just how resilient we can be when faced with difficult times and how important it is to always face what is in front of us no matter how scary it may seem. This is true not only in the event of an unexpected death, but in all aspects of our lives that we may find challenging.

I remember in college while preparing for internships my classmates and I were all very nervous. We were asking our professor tons of "what-if" questions. She answered a few and then said, "Listen, none of you are going to be doing anything you're not capable of. Just fake it 'till you make it." This advice has stuck with me ever since because it is so true.

We can't prepare for every challenge that comes our way and it can become all too easy to convince ourselves that we're just not ready, or that something is not for us. Whether it's moving past an obstacle like job loss, divorce, death, or challenging ourselves with a life change, there comes a point when we need to throw ourselves into the mix even if our confidence is a bit lacking.

This is not to say that one should be reckless, but once we've completed reasonable actions to prepare ourselves for what we need to face, there comes a point when we need to decide where preparation and self healing ends and procrastination and denial begins. This will certainly be different for everyone. Some people seem to have a natural ability to navigate challenges, while others need more time. The important thing is to be aware of where we're at so we're not hanging on to a past that is no longer possible or longer suits us.