31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - Days 17 - 31

October is over and so is the challenge! Days 17-31 were packed with some great ideas for avoiding spending. A few highlights...

Day 17 - Free Halloween Costumes: I was certain that my daughter would insist on a Disney Princess costume for Halloween this year; however, when I suggested she make use of her dress up clothes and go as a fairy princess she was all for it! While I certainly can't guarantee that children will always be this agreeable, I think often times we adults assume our children want store bought things when they're already happy with what they have.

Day 22 - Sell your stuff: If you're in need of some extra cash take some time to look around and see what's worth selling. You'd be amazed at what people will buy. Even odd little nick-knacks can fetch a few bucks on e-bay. It adds up quick!

Day 25 - Try Bartending (ooops Bartering): Okay, when I was doing the challenge I misread this one. It's supposed to be bartering, but my eyes read "bar tending" (I was thinking they made a typo and formed it as one word). Anyways....I like both. 

Let's start with bar tending. Now I'm not much of a alcohol drinker, but I am a big drinker of coffee and coffee related beverages. Now if you're like me you know that buying these beverages can be a major budget buster. Unfortunately espresso machines are not cheap. There are however some great alternatives. At my house we use a Bialetti Moka Express Espresso maker that can be used on the stove top and purchased usually for less than $50. This along with  a wand-type milk frother, which can be found for less than $10, has saved us a lot of money. Want the coffee shop atmosphere? Turn off the TV, throw on some jazz or acoustic music and dim the lights. Voila!

Now for bartering.... I like bartering because not only can you save some money but it's also social and can be very rewarding. I've had several great bartering experiences. I once traded snow tires for a Nintendo Wii. Last year I dog sat in exchange for having an antique doll house refurbished. More recently I traded my old saxophone for a really nice electric piano. If I hadn't arranged these barters I'm fairly certain I would not have the electric piano, and the dollhouse would likely still be in disrepair (I since donated the Wii). 

Day 27 - Free Family Activities - This is one of my favorites because it echos one of my top pieces of advice which is, instead of buying something - do something! Whether it's a quiet day at home, playing games, going on a hike, bike riding, or finding a local event with free admission there are many ways we can have fun simply by spending time together. Mall dwelling should mostly be avoided. Shop when you actually need something, not as something to do!

Day 30 - Plan for the Holidays - Thanksgiving and Christmas are fast approaching, and if you're like most of us that means some inevitable expenses. Everyone feels differently about the appropriate amount to spend during this time of year, so I'm not going to get into a lecture about what you should or should not buy. The important thing is that we make a plan. Make a list or mark on a calendar what will be purchase, when and the estimated cost. If you're hosting Thanksgiving start buying the non-perishables now. Appropriate planning will help reduce a lot of unnecessary stress and allow us to enjoy this festive time of year.

A special thanks to the Living Well, Spending Less blog for this fantastic challenge!

Be Well,

- Nicole

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - Day 16

Days 8-16 of the challenge were primarily about cleaning and organizing. I am a big fan of cleaning and organizing as part of a holistic financial wellness plan. It can be easy to forget what is shoved in the back of closets. As an example my daughter has become really interested in board games recently. Remembering that we had some board games collecting dust we took a trip down to the basement where she found the game "Clue". Would you believe it had never even been played?!? I don't even remember how we came to acquire it! Thus something that was collecting dust became a found treasure for my daughter.

It can be easy to have a knee jerk reaction to run out and buy a new game, toy, piece of clothing etc without stopping to take stock of what we already have. What about you? Have you ever been cleaning or organizing and been thrilled to find something you forgot you had?

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - day 7

Ok, so maybe I won't post every day. Anyways, I'm back to post about my family's progress toward the zero spending goal. So far it's going very well. I don't have any non-essential spending to report. We did end up doing a rather large grocery shopping on Saturday at the club store we belong to, but that being said we stayed focus on buying only essential ingredients and avoided snack food and beverages.

Day 4: The homework for day 4 was, "plan a meal swap" with the main focus being to cook in bulk. We don't really have anyone locally that we can practically do this with, so we opted to not participate in the swap but definitely did take on the recommendation of cooking in bulk. We've done this before and we're always glad we did. It's also one of the reasons we went to the club store. on Day 4. We stocked up on large quantities of meat and produce which facilitated the created of several portions of Potato Leek Soup, Shepherd's Pie and Pot Roast with fixings. What I liked best was that last night instead of rushing through making dinner I was able to come home, pop the pre-made Shepherd's Pie into the oven and then enjoy a game of Candy Land with my daughter. Not to mention there was far less clean-up after dinner.

Day 5: Day 5 was "eat out at home" day. We haven't done this yet, but I definitely plan on trying the home made Frapucinos!

Day 6: Day 6 was "get a free education" day. This goes back to my #1 money saving tip - "instead of buying something, do something. Personally, I'm working on building my skills on the two musical instruments I play. I'm also taking some time to brush up on my industry knowledge using the free classes available on Coursera. My husband will be back out in the woods hunting next week. Whatever it is, whether the re-invigoration of a once favored pass time or taking up something new by not wasting our days shopping we will find that we have much more time to build more fruitful skills.

Day 7: Day 7 is for "Week 1 Reflection". So far it's going really well. Personally, I'm not a big shopper to begin with. I loath shopping actually, but there are still silly little ways we all waste money even if we're not mall dwellers. I think for my family the biggest realization was that we have to do a better job meal planning, and also to stay away from the coffee shops. We love our mochas, but not enough for them to be a line item on our budget.

The next two days are all about cleaning the house. While I appreciate the gesture, the author of the blog hosting this clearly does not work a 9-5 like I do. Hauling out the house in the middle of the week doesn't exactly fit my lifestyle. So, I'm going to work that in where it works best for me. My husband and I actually did a pretty big cleaning a couple of weeks ago, so I might come up with some alternatives for the next couple of days. Stay tuned!

Be Well,
- Nicole

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - day 3

I know I said I would post every day and have already missed a day, but in all fairness I was down for the count yesterday with a bad head cold and didn't have the brainpower to formulate a blog post. I'm back on track though and ready to move forward with the challenge. Here's a a bit of a recap.

Day 1 - Went very well. We did send the dog to dog daycare, but if you knew my dog you would know that is a necessity. If he doesn't go at least once a week he becomes impossible. Some might disagree, but I'm calling that a necessity.

Total unnecessary spending - $0

Day 2 - Could have been better. I mindlessly bought some ice cream and a bone for my dog, both which were certainly not necessities. Especially considering I have all the ingredients for brownies and/or a variety of cookies at home if I really wanted something sweet. 

Total unnecessary spending - $8.18

Today - Today is going well. There is one major thing I should mention, however. My husband is buying a new truck today. It's something we have been going back and forth on for a while. He really needs it for his line of work and as much as we have tried to make due with our current vehicles, the time has come for him to make this purchase. To be fair though, we began researching and arranging this before we knew about the challenge so I'm giving us a pass on this. 

Now the homework for yesterday was to clean out the pantry and today's assignment was to do some meal planning. I will be working on both of those tonight. This part is especially interesting to me because I think a lot of people have the misconception that eating well is expensive. I joke, however, that my husband and I ate the healthiest when our income was at it's lowest. When we were first married I was a full time college student. We spent a good amount of time living primarily on oatmeal, beans, cheddar cheese, vegetables and rice. It's actually amazing how many great recipes you can make with these simple foods as a base. Not to mention that your wallet and waistline will thank you for it.

So that's my task over the next 24 hours. Go through the cabinets and see what's for dinner this week. While I don't keep a lot of back stock, I know I have an abundance of dried beans that are waiting to be cooked up. Off the top of my head I'm thinking I have the fixings for Potato Leek Soup, Mung Dal, Vegetarian Chili, Beans, Rice & Tomato (one of my favorite budget meals) and Shttp://www.livingwellspendingless.com/31-days/livingwellspendingzero/paghetti. I'll update tomorrow and let you know if I find any surprises!

Be Well!

- Nicole

What Ruth Said - 31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero

Whoa, where did September go? I've been very busy with a host of projects over the last few weeks. My jaw dropped when I realized I hadn't posted since August! That being said, sometimes when life becomes hectic it becomes easy to let our guard down when it comes to our personal financial habits. So, I'm taking the month of October to re-evaluate and re-prioritize using the "31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero" challenge from "Living Well Spending Less".

I will be posting daily using Ruth's daily prompts. Today involves setting ground rules. We all have different definitions about what is "essential spending" and there may some things that we're already committed to that will involve some "non-essential spending". For example, being a parent of a pre-schooler I will have some costs associated with Halloween. I'm also part of a wedding party in early November that will result in some expenses. That being said, I can still step back and look closely at each related purchase and make an effort to do it as inexpensively as possible.

We'll see how it goes. Check it out and stay tuned!

Be Well,
Nicole

Why I Quit Candy Crush

The Importance of Breaking Bad Habits

I've never been much into video games, but it seems that every few years there will be that one game (Tetris, JT's Blocks, Snood, Angry Birds) that sucks me in. When this happens it seems no matter how much I try to set limits, I find myself going back for more throughout the day. I'll find any excuse to "take a break" or "go to the bathroom" just to sneak in a session during which I'm certain I will make it past the level I've been stuck on. Maybe you can relate, or maybe not. But, even if it's not a video game habit, there can often be these little innocuous addictions that pop up in our lives that before we know it really begin to affect our overall wellness.

How did I know Candy Crush was becoming a problem? I started to experience cognitive symptoms that felt, what I imagine to be, similar to ADD. I was having trouble remembering things, focusing on tasks, keeping myself organized and meeting deadlines. I became more lax with personal tasks like housekeeping, financial record keeping, and meal planning. I was less interested in leisure activities I enjoy such as reading, writing and sketching. Instead of going for a walk on my lunch break, I would sneak in a few more rounds. Clearly it was time to stop the obsession.

I had attempted to quit Candy Crush before, going weeks without playing, but would inevitably end up convincing myself to play "just one round" and then wind up hooked once again. Like many addictive behaviors it was not going to be enough to "cut back", I was going to have to eliminate it completely. So, as of this afternoon I have officially deleted the game from my Facebook and removed the game from my phone.

Now, for those of you out there who have never been sucked down the rabbit hole of gaming this may sound ridiculous, but truthfully most of us have some sort of insidious coping mechanism that we would be better off with out. It could be drinking too much coffee, too much television or obsessive checking of e-mail and social media. Whatever it is we're all doing it for the same reason; a quick hit of dopamine that makes us feel oh-so-good, for at least a few minutes. It's no wonder why these bad habits tend to manifest when we may be feeling stressed or unhappy.

So think about it, and whatever it is for you, join me and quit it. Pick a date, make a plan, pick a healthy replacement and be a better you!

Be Well!
- Nicole

Embracing Autumn; The Other "New Year"

There is something about the cooler weather and shorter days of late August that never ceases in offering me a sense of pleasant anticipation. For me, the feeling of fall brings with it a sense of "returning to normal". I know that my perspective does not apply to everyone, but I know there are others out there who can relate to what I'm saying here. While I love the summer with it's warm weather, cook-outs, camp-outs and swimming, the hectic frenzy of weddings, family reunions and late nights celebrated in a haze of humidity can also be very draining. By this time of year I'm ready for a change in pace.

More than any other time of the year, fall has always presented as my best time for renewal. Maybe it's my introverted nature or years of being habituated by the rhythm of the school calendar. Perhaps it's the fatigue that comes from the sense of urgency created by the short New England summer to cram in as much fun as possible. Whatever it is, the sense of everything slowing down offers me the best opportunity to reexamine and re-energize.

Items to consider...

Intellectual Development - With the coming school year we are all inundated by the marketing messages of, "back to school." Regardless of whether or not we ourselves are students, or parents of one, this is a good time to think about where we're at with our own intellectual development. I use the term intellectual development instead of "education" because I think when we hear the word "education" we are apt to think of classes and textbooks. While taking a class is certainly part of this, it's not the only means of working our minds.

On a professional level we may work in a field that requires continuous education in which case we may be meeting this need by happenstance. For others we may not have this requirement and may need to make more of a personal effort to gain additional expertise in our profession. If your line of work does not require specific continuing education requirements, see what's available for literature, quality web content and conferences to help keep you up to speed in your field.

On a personal level, exploring areas such as our own spirituality, hobbies and interests are other avenues where we can experience intellectual development. It could be as simple as reading the biography of someone we admire, or as in depth as attending a retreat or going back to school.

Why is this important? - If we don't occasionally look outside of our own world we can become very self-centered. Before we know it we don't see past our own little world of self, children, spouse, job and all of the little in's and out's of our daily lives. By taking some time to learn something new we make connections with the world around us and are better able to balance our own sense of being with that of others.

Housekeeping - Nothing bogs us down practically and spiritually more than unnecessary clutter. It's time to get organized! There are few things in life that offer as much instant gratification as cleaning out a closet or cluttered desk. Yet we will always tend to put these sorts of things off if we don't set aside the time to deal with them.

If your not sure where to begin the best first step is often going room by room and seeing what can simply be tossed or donated. Closets and basements are usually the best places to start. From there it's a matter of going from space to space to sort out what goes where. The goal should be for everything to have it's own place and to avoid just sticking things in random places. If you need supplies to assist with storage and organization discount stores like Big Lots can be a great place to obtain containers and shelves. there are also TONS of great blogs solely dedicated to home organization.

Finances - As an extension of housekeeping, examining our finances using the "Prosperity Check" is a must this time of year. The stretch between summer vacation and the holidays is a great time to sit down and see where we're at financially. It's also a good time to plan a budget and savings plan for Christmas shopping, holiday parties and other year end obligations so we're not having to do financial gymnastics at the last minute to cover these expenses if we choose them.

Our Health - With access to fresh produce at it's peak and cooler temperatures prevailing, the fall is an ideal time to take a look at our diet and fitness habits. While I'm not a health and fitness expert I do feel confidant in saying that whatever approach we take it should be moderate and sustainable. Avoid fad diets, harsh cleanses and quick fixes. Sending yourself on a physical roller-coaster will inevitability be felt mentally as well and in the end will only prove to do more to move us away from our goals than toward them.

We also need to consider our mental health as well. What's working? What's not working? Are we taking time to decompress throughout the day, or are we frenetically bouncing from one task to the next? Are we embracing our spiritual practice or pushing it aside? There is nothing like a cool, rainy fall day to take some time for prayer and/or meditation.

Make Your Plan - Whether we choose to focus on one of these things, all of these things, or subjects not even covered here the most important point to all of this is that we're checking in with ourselves to make sure we're on track toward personal growth and that we're not holding ourselves back with procrastination and excuses.

Be Well,
Nicole

The Perplexing Case of Ohio State

A Symptom of a Bigger Issue

The director of the award winning Ohio State marching band was fired recently for allegedly allowing a hyper-sexual culture in the band program that, in the opinion of some, amounted to sexual harassment. Now we don't really know what exactly happened other than what has been reported by the media. However, the general feeling is that decades of somewhat risque traditions came to a screeching halt when a handful of people became offended.

Now what does this have to do with career, money and our lives? The fact is that this type of scenario is a symptom of a much broader issue. It was not that long ago when women were often expected to brush off advances and even unwanted touches by their boss. In response we saw the feminist movement and slogans like, "no means no" and "take back the night". It was a necessary and well intended change, but I have to wonder if in some cases we're missing the point of these efforts.

I once had a friendly debate with a friend on the topic. I suggested that women should stand up for themselves and set boundaries when faced with an inappropriate male attention. She argued that this was blaming the victim, that women shouldn't have to do anything and that men should just know better. I agree that in a perfect world that should be the case, but the fact is no matter how much progress women make toward equality there will always be chauvinists. There are also some cases where the offending party may not even realize that their actions are unwanted. The question then becomes, what do we brush off? When should school administrators, HR departments, or in this case, the State Attorney General become involved? At what point do we jeopardize someone's future because we were offended?

It's a delicate balance. Working in a male dominated industry I can honestly say I wouldn't be able to function in my industry if I allowed myself to become flustered by every sexist comment or act of chauvinism I've encountered from co-workers, bosses and even clients. It demands a unique sort of tolerance. That's not to say we should be tolerant of everything. There are times when behavior crosses a line and it becomes necessary for a third party to become involved to resolve a particular situation. And of course a full on assault is absolutely never acceptable. That's not what I'm talking about here. What I'm talking about is more the day to day casual comments or even traditions that might raise eyebrows but are not necessarily done with malice.

We also have to consider how, as a culture, we're handling this. It seems that an unfortunate consequence of the feminist movement is that on a societal level men are now seen as predators and women as victims. Instead of playing the blame game we should be working together to set reasonable boundaries. We should also communicate with each other when appropriate to work out our differences. Not just in instances like these, but in many organizational disagreements. Too often I see people running to the boss and blindsiding their co-worker when it is something that should really be resolved between those involved.

I suppose tolerance and communication is the lesson in all of this. I've said it before and I'll continue to say that we have to accept that we can't control the behavior of others. We have to expect that occasionally people will say and do things that are inappropriate and offensive. If we waste our energy walking around being offended and angry, we're only hurting ourselves. Deal with it or be done with it!

The Mystery of the Boomerang Generation

I am a young 30 something, right on the cusp of the millennial generation.What makes a Gen Y person like me different than a Millennial? I remember life before cell phones and computers. I grew up with a television the size of an oven. We had rotary phones, enormous sedans, and permed hair. I well remember the Gulf War and when Russians were the default bad guys in action films. The Clinton years, grunge and MTV were the hallmarks of my youth. Then something changed.

No this isn't going to be yet another writing about the worthlessness of "kids these days." There are a lot of things that I think Millennials do better than those of us who came before them. They demand tolerance and equality. They are largely very thoughtful and intelligent. They also have big dreams and reject conventional consumerism. While all of these traits are a breath of fresh air, they can also make for their own undoing.

A number of studies have shown that marriage is down, birth rates are down and the workforce is aging because so many young people are simply not participating in the "normal" passages of adulthood. In some respects I think it's great that young people are carving out their own definitions of what their lives should be like rather than just adhering to societal norms. At the same time, there has to be some balance and an understanding that not every aspect of life is going to be a profound experience. 

Sometimes we all have to work the job we don't like or take the boring general education class. These days when so much of our lives are customizable it can be easy to forget that sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Unfortunately for these "boomerang" kids, they don't appear to see that as an option. There is a mentality of, "I went to college for X, so I am only going to do X." Especially in cases of non-traditional or arts based majors it seems that no one ever explained to them that they might need to get creative, or work a day job for a while.

It's not that I'm trying to bash these folks, nor do I look down on them. Some of these individuals are people I know and love. They're well intended, but they're beating themselves up and gradually giving up on their dreams because their expectations are just way too high in regards to where they expect to be in the short term. 

So, what's the solution? There is no real system that can be applied to existential crises such as this. What I have found when people like this open up to me is that they tend to respond well if they understand that in various ways we've all been there. We all hate our jobs sometimes, wish we lived in a different area or feel like our lives are just simply boring. It doesn't make us failures or mean we sold out. We just recognize that our lives move through cycles and hiding out in our childhood bedrooms is not a solution. Sometimes we're doing exciting things and sometimes we're not.

The bottom line is that life moves in cycles. Despite what the internet culture has lead us to be conditioned to, we can't always have what we want, when we want. We have to learn to embrace the process of reaching our goals and celebrate not only achieving what we want, but the also small accomplishments along the way.

A Little Dab Will Do Ya

When I started this blog I was hoping to regularly post each Thursday. I had a back log of material I wanted to cover and thought that would carry me through for a while. Now after a few months of posting I find myself a bit distracted with other activities and obligations. While I certainly intend to keep this blog going I am going to relax my Thursday deadline and stick to posting when I feel compelled to do so, which I'm hoping will be at least a couple of times per month. By doing this I feel that the content I offer will be richer and deeper than it would be if I was just churning out posts for the sake of it.

With all of this considered I must admit that I am a dabbler. I am prone to what I believe to be fantastic ideas for a variety of projects, making the first few moves and then never following through. In addition to blogs there have been bouts of jewelry making, sewing, painting, novel writing, skiing, golf, knitting and crochet. I used to beat myself up about it, but have been able to forgive and accept this somewhat annoying trait. At the same time I have learned how to moderate it.

The way I figure dabbling is better than being afraid to try; however, when we need to watch our budget, running out and buying supplies or equipment for something we won't follow through with is not necessarily the best idea. So what's a dabbler to do? 

In the past when I would dabble in something I would have big ideas about where it would go. After I bought a set of golf clubs I immediately started looking into tournaments. When I took up various crafts I imagined how I could turn it into a business. That's not to say that these weren't realistic long term goals, but there needs to be realistic expectations about how we'll get there. We dabblers need to learn to take baby steps.

A good way to start is with some simple research. One thing that has really curbed my dabbling is the simple existence of the internet. These days it's much easier to find out material costs and the true amount of time and skill required for any given activity. There are blogs and message boards by the hundreds where we can learn from others who have been there and done that before we make a huge investment of our own time and money.

I also like to categorize my new pursuits as low, medium or high impact. Low impact would be activities like writing or drawing that cost little to no money and can be worked into our regular schedule. I give all low impact activities a free pass. When it comes to these I say, dabble away! Medium impact activities would include activities that would be a minimal investment and moderate equipment and time considerations. This would include most crafts, sports, theater, music and arts. High impact would be those activities that would have a major impact on our budget and lifestyle. These would be things like horseback riding, car racing or pursuing a degree. Overall, the higher level of impact, the more time and research should go into researching before we take the plunge.

I hope you're all having a fantastic start to the summer!

Be Well! 

- Nicole

Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse

My apologies for missing my Thursday deadline again. Where did this week go! That being said I thought I would use the fact that I'm writing today, on Friday the 13th under the full moon, to address a very serious topic, with a dash of humor - the zombie apocalypse.

People who don't already know might be surprised that I'm really into zombie movies and the whole philosophical idea of a zombie apocalypse. Zombie movies are not simply gory films, but a metaphor for a society that has checked out in someway. They're about the most serious forms of psychic attack that can ultimately cause us to turn on ourselves and each other. These movies offer a visual representation of what happens to us emotionally when we lose our sense of purpose or struggle to maintain our own integrity and virtues when the world seems determined to derail us.

There are many ways we can see this happening around us. In the area where I live one of the major culprits is the use of heroin. My neighbor lost two of his former classmates in the last week alone to this horrible drug. Both of them were under 35. It makes me wonder what leads a person to make the decision to incapacitate themselves. This is of course an extreme example, but it is becoming more common. Even in cases that don't result in death it seems that as a population we are struggling more and more with our ability to cope with every day life.

So what do we do to prevent ourselves from heading down this rabbit hole? Well the first thing we need to recognize is whether or not we're predisposed to self-destructive behavior. If we're experiencing clinical depression, an eating disorder, abusive relationships, addiction or other compulsive behavior, professional help is the necessary next step. Many people though often feel they are more or less just mildly miserable as they go through their daily life. These individuals might not be ready to put a needle in their arm, but it doesn't mean some change isn't needed.

Many people I know in this situation are often stuck in a victim mentality, at least when it comes to certain areas of their lives. They see their situation as something that happened to them and don't believe they themselves have control. How to shake this will vary from person to person. The first step and most difficult step is always the self awareness to know that we need to make a change and that it's up to us to do so. We can't sit around waiting for our boss to make our job better or our spouse to make our relationship better. From there comes the task of learning to cope with the challenges we face.

I don't have any quick answers for this. The journey will be different for everyone, but the key is that if we don't want to become a society riddled with gun violence and drug use we must learn to cope. The threat of a zombie apocalypse is metaphorically always threatening, but through love, compassion and hope we can work together to scare those zombies away.

Happy Friday the 13th!

- Nicole

Simple Ways to Save Today!

I thought I'd go with something quick and to the point today - simple ways to save. None of this is likely to be new, but we can all use reminders. It's easy to mindlessly spend. Occasionally we all need some motivation to put those credit cards away. So what should we be doing?

STOP Window Shopping:
Many of us waste time roaming the malls or browsing online at the latest cell phones, cars, clothes, books, etc. We might think that there is no harm in it, but trust me, marketing is an incredibly powerful tool to those who know how to use it well. If you browse you will want to spend. So, unless there is something you're truly interested in purchasing, stop window shopping! There are far better things we can do to fill our time.

Revisit What You Have:
Most of us having things lying around that at one time we had to have, but that's now collecting dust. Some common ones are exercise equipment, video game systems, hobby kits, musical instruments, golf clubs, bicycles etc. If we're looking for something new to entertain ourselves, why not revisit something we already invested in?

Buy Used:
There are very few things I have in my house that are new. As much as possible I buy what I can second hand, especially furniture.

Scout Online For Clothes:
I rarely shop for clothes in the store. There are tons of savvy shopper out there who have made a business for themselves by purchasing and reselling clothes on e-Bay. I can usually find brand name tops and pants for a fraction of what they cost in the store. The trick is to find brands that you know fit consistently so there is no worry about returns. Not a fan of e-Bay? Even regular retailers most often offer their best deals and selection through their online clearance sections. I always recommend checking these out before heading to the store. Not to mention what you'll save in time and gas!

Eat Real Food:
This one helps your wallet and your waste line. My husband and I have always joked that when we were first married, the poorer we were the better we ate. To us things like soda, cookies, beer & wine, and other snack foods were always viewed as a treat that we often did not have room for in our budget. As an affect we got out of the habit of buying many of these items. Yet it seems that many people just take these items as "must-haves" on their shopping list. I'm not saying you have to be a health nut, just consider the cost of this habit.

Plan Meals:
A big trouble spot in my budget has always been eating out. When life gets busy, the first thing that usually gets sacrificed is meal planning and grocery shopping. It takes time, but making a point to go through the flyers and make a shopping list that includes everything you'll need to get through the week will be well worth the time. A great tool to help with this is www.emeals.com. I've used e-meals off and on over the years. It's a great way to get in the habit of meal planning and also to try out new recipes. It's a fantastic system and a huge time saver!

Plan Backyard Adventures:
You don't have to go on an exotic vacation to have a good time. There are often times dozens of things to do within our own communities or just a short drive away. Instead of focusing on expensive vacations, see what's available locally or as a weekend getaway.

Fake It 'Till You Make It

I'm obviously a few days late with my blog post. Unfortunately last week I faced the loss of a dear family member. I wanted some time to think about how I could apply this experience to my message here. While going through the grieving process it occurred to me just how resilient we can be when faced with difficult times and how important it is to always face what is in front of us no matter how scary it may seem. This is true not only in the event of an unexpected death, but in all aspects of our lives that we may find challenging.

I remember in college while preparing for internships my classmates and I were all very nervous. We were asking our professor tons of "what-if" questions. She answered a few and then said, "Listen, none of you are going to be doing anything you're not capable of. Just fake it 'till you make it." This advice has stuck with me ever since because it is so true.

We can't prepare for every challenge that comes our way and it can become all too easy to convince ourselves that we're just not ready, or that something is not for us. Whether it's moving past an obstacle like job loss, divorce, death, or challenging ourselves with a life change, there comes a point when we need to throw ourselves into the mix even if our confidence is a bit lacking.

This is not to say that one should be reckless, but once we've completed reasonable actions to prepare ourselves for what we need to face, there comes a point when we need to decide where preparation and self healing ends and procrastination and denial begins. This will certainly be different for everyone. Some people seem to have a natural ability to navigate challenges, while others need more time. The important thing is to be aware of where we're at so we're not hanging on to a past that is no longer possible or longer suits us.

Keeping Perspective

Are You Self-Centered?

No one likes to think of themselves as self-centered, but to a degree we all are. How can we not be? The problem lies when we become too self-centered and thus lose perspective. Now I want to be clear that self-centered does not equate selfishness. Someone could be very giving and also be self-centered. By self-centered I mean that we struggle with being objective or understanding the view points of others. So how do we know when we've become maybe a bit too self-absorbed and as such have lost perspective? It's a hard thing to admit, so here are some signs:

We think everyone is out to get us: While there are a handful of people out there who try to sabotage others, this is not something the average person is interested in spending their time on. If someone gives us the cold shoulder it might not even have anything to do with us. Maybe they just have something else on their mind.

Little things can throw our whole day off: Are little things like oversleeping or spilling coffee in the car enough to ruin our mood? If the answer is "yes" then it's time to take a step back. While it's normal to get upset for a minute when something like this happens, we're not doing ourselves any favors if we carry these things around all day.

Everyone knows everything about you, but you don't know what's going on with everyone else: So the coffee spilled in the car and then we went and told everyone in the office about it. One by one each of our co-workers heard "guess what happened to me this morning!" Later while sitting at our desk we hear that someone in our office just found out they need surgery or that someone's spouse is leaving them. If we get too caught up in our own stories we might not realize the difficulties also being faced by those around us.

We don't pay attention to the world around us: It's easy to lose perspective when we don't pay attention to the world around us. Even just listening to the news on the radio on the way into work or taking a look at the headlines each day can go a long way. When we begin to understand the amount of real struggle that exists in the world, spilled coffee won't seem like such a big deal.

Not having perspective is a big problem for many of us and it most certainly inhibits happiness, success and our ability to relate to others. If we're always walking around feeling sorry for ourselves, talking about our problems and acting like martyrs it's going to turn people off and limit our ability to appreciate what is going well in our lives.

Mindful Spending

Defining Necessity

I remember talking to my grandmother once about her childhood and what life was like. At one point she made the observation that if a family lived today the way her family did, they would probably be considered poor. They did not have television or computers. They didn't eat out, have cell phones or go on elaborate vacations. Yet they certainly didn't consider themselves poor.

We have to consider how much our definition of necessity has changed. The average family budget has a lot more line items than it did even just 25 years ago. Yet it seems that most of us never stop to think about these additions and what really improves our lives. Instead, we just sign up because that’s the status quo.

Homework time!

I want you to write up a quick list of all of your discretionary expenses. These are those items which are not necessities but are paid on a regular monthly basis. We’re looking for items like cable, internet, cell phones, gaming subscriptions, gym subscriptions, club fees, memberships, etc.  Don’t worry about coming up with exact figures for how much you spend on each, just a rough number is fine.

Now think about something that you have wanted to buy or do. Take a look at that list. Do you really want those things as much as you want whatever it is you think you have not been able to afford?

This is all about mindful spending. We spend hundreds of dollars a month on services and subscriptions that may not even be that meaningful to us. Are people going to laugh at you because you downgraded from a smart phone to a flip-phone or dump cable? From experience I can tell you that yes, they probably will. But, if you’re finally are able to budget in that yoga class, you’ll have the last laugh!

The bottom line is, when we start appropriating our money to the things and experiences we actually want we often find we are better off then we may have realized. We were just nickel and diming ourselves in all the wrong places!

Identifying and Achieving Success

When living in a western society it is often of great importance for many of us to feel successful. Unfortunately many of us often base our definition of success on material achievements. The truth is we really can never assume one way or the other if someone is successful based solely outward appearance. Real success is more than an image; it's a state of being. It's waking up every morning with a sense of peace, fulfillment and knowing that we're moving toward what benefits us and away from what doesn't.

So, how do we become successful? From what I've observed successful people tend to have a certain set of attitudes and behaviors. A lot of these characteristics are a natural part of the personality of successful people, but all of these traits can also be learned.

So what makes people successful? Successful people:

Like to learn new things.
Whether it's reading a book, watching a documentary or taking a class, successful people tend to be inquisitive by nature. Thus they tend to spend a good amount of their free time learning new things and making a point to pay attention to the world around them rather than hang out on the couch or at the mall. Having a well rounded knowledge makes it easier to make connections with people, especially in mixed company where making friends, maintaining relationships or networking for business is important.

Are always progressing professionally.
No matter what we do for work, there are always actions we can be taking to move forward in our jobs. Those who are successful at work are proactive about always seeking out opportunities to help others, learning new tasks, working with mentors, or developing projects that will improve their workplace. They're also not shy to ask their boss for a review or a raise.

Maintain appropriate appearance.
Dressing appropriately and maintaining good personal care habits have a big impact on how others perceive us and also on our own self confidence. What's appropriate for a given job or event can vary greatly, so we really just need to be cognizant of our surroundings to know what's appropriate. Although it may be unfair, it's a biological fact that we naturally form initial opinions about others based on outward appearance. If others see that we don't care enough to take care of ourselves they may question our ability to meet the needs of their business. This doesn't mean we have to be fashion obsessed, but we don't want to get noticed for wearing flip-flops when everyone else is wearing dress shoes.

Are Organized:
Having systems in place to keep track of things goes a long way toward helping us be productive and efficient. If we waste time looking for things or miss commitments because we forgot, we're inevitably going to miss out on opportunities. Not to mention the added stress we feel from unnecessary frustration and rushing around. Being disorganized can also lead clients and our bosses to second guess our commitment and ability to complete required tasks.

Have hobbies.
Having something to look forward to outside of the daily grind can do wonders toward putting an extra bounce in our step. Participating in an activity that is purely for our own enjoyment offers the opportunity to both reduce stress and exercise our mind. It also helps us have a feeling of accomplishment when other aspects of our lives may not be going well by offering the opportunity to re-energize and still feel successful even when we've had a bad day.

Maintain relationships.
Social dynamics have changed considerably over the last 25 years. More adults are single, families are spread around the country and many of us are working more hours than ever. These factors create challenges around finding and maintaining quality relationships. It doesn't take a lot of time or money to send a birthday card, make a phone call or attend a social event on occasion. As the old saying goes, it's not what you know but who you know. When times get tough and we get sick or need help finding a job we need other people in our lives to help us move forward.

Take ownership of their circumstances.
Instead of complaining, pointing the blame at others and focusing on the negative when a difficult situation presents itself, successful people put their energy into finding solutions. Even under the most unfortunate of circumstances, having the ability to find meaning and purpose can go along way toward helping us cope with difficult situations. We also need to be able to consider how we may have contributed to our situation if we want to be able to avoid patterns of self-defeating behaviors. Even in cases that were entirely out of our control, it is important to find ways to empower ourselves. While we can't always control what happens to us, we can choose how to respond.

Are Action Oriented.
We all know procrastination, and making excuses are self-defeating behaviors, yet so many of us get stuck in these ruts. Having measurable goals, even small ones, are essential to personal growth and development. As the saying goes, "if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you've always got." Successful people know what they want and make a plan to attain it.

Know how to navigate gossip, drama and politics.
No matter what we do to manage our own behavior we will inevitably have to deal with difficult people. This can become particularly challenging if these individuals are a boss or close family member that we can't just simply ignore and avoid. Successful people have often times learned how to re-direct conversations, avoid controversial topics and to walk away from toxic situations so that they can maintain important relationships without unnecessary baggage. We can't always stop the drama queens, but we don't need to participate either.

Know Thyself.
Above all, successful people know who they are, what they want and don't allow outside influences to distract them. They know what their strengths are and also what doesn't suit them. Their definition of success is defined by their ability to achieve their desires rather than what society deems to be a sign of success.

Shop 'Till You Drop?

Typically for those of us who shop a lot, there are some common reasons we use to justify spending money even when we might not be able to afford it. How can we tell if we're shopping too much? Well, here are some things to consider: 

Do you tend to frequently purchase items and either never use them or get rid of them quickly?      

Do you often purchase things you can't really afford?

Do you find yourself with a constant mental checklist of things you'd like to buy? 

If we find ourselves saying yes to any one of these it may be time to stop and think about the emotions behind our decisions to spend money.

"I deserve it!" :
A common thing we tell ourselves, especially when we've spent money on something we can't afford is, "Well, I deserve it!" Maybe it's been a rough week. Maybe we've been sick or mistreated. There is nothing wrong with treating ourselves if it's within our means. We run into issues though when we start using spending to pacify ourselves. There is that moment of immediate gratification, but it quickly falls away when we have to go back to the reality of our situation.  

This type of behavior can manifest itself in a number of ways and can sometimes border on addiction. People do it with food, alcohol, drugs and even TV watching or internet use. These activities are used to numb the emotions surrounding the reality of our situation. The problem with this is that we rob ourselves of time and energy that could be used for more productive tasks. 

"I just need X, and then I'll be happy" :

This could range from a new cell phone to a kitchen renovation. Either way this is an important habit to be aware of because it can mask deeper issues like depression. We convince ourselves that the reason for our discontent is because this one small aspect of our material world isn't how we'd like it to be. Yet not surprisingly even when we get that thing there is something else that immediately takes it's place. Just like when we use shopping as a reward, trying to buy happiness can become addictive and only really succeed in helping us to avoid our more deep rooted issues.

Keeping up appearances:
If you're making financial decisions based on what you think other's might think, you're wasting your time. No one worth your time cares what kind of car your driving, what model cell phone you have or where you buy your clothes. Most people are much more interested in their own appearance and image than that of others. 

There is also nothing wrong with enjoying new trends, but we shouldn't let material things determine our self worth. When we allow ourselves to get caught up in this trap we end up spending a bunch of money on things we don't really care about or want. This can leave us feeling frustrated and short changed when there is not enough money leftover for what we really want.

You also might be surprised that many of those whom you are trying to keep up with feel the same way. I remember a period when my husband and I went without television. After an initial reaction of surprise we would often get a response along the lines of, "Oh, I wish I could do that." Yet despite the hundreds of dollars a year television costs they couldn't bring themselves to pull the plug simply because it's the status quo. 

Magpie Syndrome:

Then there are some of us who just love to shop, often times for something particular like shoes, jewelry, home decor, or clothes. Some of us just love stuff and having lots of it. In these cases there is often a certain rush experienced from the act of shopping. There is often no justification made for this type of spending, and it can often times be the hardest spending habit to recognize because those who engage in it don't think they're is anything wrong with what they're doing. While a "thing for shoes" is not the end of the world if this type of behavior is causing debt or has crossed the line into hoarding there may be bigger issues.

Shopping as an Activity:
Lots of people like to shop which that isn't necessarily a problem if that shopping has a purpose. What we often see though is that some of us will spend hours at the mall, wandering the isles of big box stores or browsing retail websites simply as something to do. Again, this is all about moderation. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with window shopping from time to time, but if we find that we're doing this every weekend we're setting ourselves up to overspend. It's also not the most productive use of time. I once had someone tell me they liked shopping because it was "a way to do something without actually having to do anything." That doesn't sound very fulfilling to me.

Solving Overspending:

If you have the money to spend, but would like to cut back on shopping one of the best solutions is to stop buying and start doing. Whether it's taking up a hobby, activity, enrolling in a class or taking a trip; investing in experiences will offer us more long term satisfaction than a new item.

If money is an issue and we need to cut back on overall spending we should still focus on finding things we can do that make us happy, we'll just need to be frugal about our choices. Talk a walk, read a book, dust off hobby supplies or sporting equipment we once enjoyed. Also check out what is available in the community. Many public libraries offer free and discounted passes to museums and events.

Persistent feelings of unhappiness and inadequacy can never be solved with a shopping trip, a fancy house, or a new car. When we find ourselves overspending for these reasons it's time to cut up the credit cards and take a serious look at our lives in the big picture. Depending on our circumstances these can end up being the time when we realize we may need to seek help from a life coach, a therapist, clergy or even at a wellness retreat. These issues don't happen overnight and are often not fixed easily. We have to first figure out where the source of our discontent is and only then we can begin healing those wounds.

Be Well,
- Nicole

Headsets and Mahogany Desks

The truth about life as a broker.

Many people think that obtaining a series 7 brokers license is a golden ticket to a life of Italian sports cars and dreamy vacations. The reality is that most people I've worked with, myself included, are living a life that is much different from what is shown in movies like "The Wolf of Wall Street". The truth is:

We never thought we'd be doing this:
Most of us have degrees in other fields ranging from fine arts to engineering. I've worked with a variety of folks from former military to refugees who are here building a new life. While many of us embrace our profession and learn to love it, others yearn for their true calling.

We're not wealthy:
While being in this business pretty much guarantees a salary above the national average, most of us are earning middle class wages. When the market crashed in 2008, we lost half of our investment savings too.

We give up a lot of personal freedoms and privacy:
Simply holding a Series 7 licenses places restrictions on our ability to own another business, volunteer, serve on a board or committee, speak publicly about our opinions on the market and contribute to political campaigns. Past transgressions like bankruptcy and arrests must also be publicly disclosed and posted on Broker Check.

We're highly regulated and liability is huge:
Simply wording something slightly the wrong way, using an outdated document, or not making certain that a client understands exactly what we're saying can lead not only to job loss, but also personal fines.

We work long and irregular hours:
Particularly in the call center world many brokers work overnights, holidays, weekends and lots of overtime to make sure they're available to answer the phone if someone has a question or concern about their portfolio.

We have to remember a lot of detailed information and be able to communicate it on demand:
The series 7 is a grueling exam, but that's only the beginning. When working in a fast paced trading environment brokers have to take care of clients while also paying attention to what is happening in the markets. There are dozens of processes and rules to remember in addition to the task of building client relations.

We don't do drugs all day and party all night:
Being a trader requires incredible energy and attention to detail. While there may be frequent consumption of coffee and energy drinks, you'd be hard pressed to find lines of cocaine and bottles of pills being passed around around the office. Brokerage firms also place a high importance on maintaining a pristine image. Those who push the limits and risk bad press don't last long.

Working in a trading environment can be both exciting and rewarding, but like anything there are trade offs. The financial industry is not some elite profession reserved for Harvard MBA's, nor is it occupied by a bunch of greedy back room thieves. In many ways banks and brokerage firms have become the modern day factory lines for the educated and tech savvy Gen Y and Millennials.

Be Well
- Nicole

Don't Take My Advice

Demystifying Gurus & Making Informed Choices

There are a lot of great motivational folks out there, especially in the financial field, and many of them offer fantastic advice. At the same time, however, it can often be noted that many of these gurus can come off as fanatical. They present their solutions as all or nothing and if we dare to consider a differing opinion then we're doomed to disaster. This is all part of being a media mogul and it's something we need to be aware of when we follow these sorts of advice giving celebrities.

Whether it's the FICO score obsessed, Suze Orman or the debt-phobic, Dave Ramsey, the use of fear and absolutes is a common tactic among such gurus who are out to sell you on their brand. The more they can convince us that they have the best and only real method of obtaining financial success the more they can get us to spend on their system. It's all sales and marketing so we need to be educated consumers when we take in information just as we should be when we make tangible purchases.

Now don't get me wrong, I think there are a lot of great ideas presented by the individuals mentioned above. I find Dave Ramsey's radio show to be incredibly motivating and I've recommended his book to many of my friends and family. But, do I think you're a loser if you lease a car? No. Do I think it's sometimes necessary to borrow money for college? Yes. Yet when it comes to tackling debt and building savings, I don't think you'll find a better system out there.

The point is when we allow ourselves to become enchanted by gurus of any kind we can often end up feeling let down. We spend money on books, products and seminars only to have the initial enthusiasm wear off and end up back where we started. When we take in this sort of guidance it should be to motivate us and help us make better choices and not to simply conform ourselves into someone else's ideal.

Be Well!
- Nicole

Wealth Shame

How do you feel about people with money? I'm not talking celebrities, but people that you know who are doing really well, drive nice cars, have nice houses, own the latest technology, etc. Do you feel like they're greedy? Do you figure that they must be workaholics and neglect their families?  Do you assume they must be taking advantage of people, or that they must be doing something unethical for them to have the lifestyle that they have? 

Some might call this jealousy, but I see it more as a feeling of shame. There are several possible sources of this. This seems to happen a lot to those of us who grew up in more low to middle income, blue collar families. There is a part of us that might feel we are snubbing how we grew up if we desire a different lifestyle. Maybe your parents were laid off frequently or unfairly denied bonuses or promotions. Perhaps someone you care about got caught up in a scam or was taken advantage of in some monetary way. Or, maybe your grandparents lost a sizable portion of their retirement savings in the stock market. 

If these types of experiences are what we're familiar with, people with money will often feel to us like predators. We may also find that even if we are able to overcome these feelings and events, that our loved ones may not be. They may accuse us of being materialistic or workaholics when we strive for or obtain more wealth. 

It's important that we then understand that if our loved ones do struggle with this, it is not about us. They have likely been hurt or feel discouraged with their own circumstances. In these cases when these conversations come up, it's best if we try to be sympathetic and not argumentative. We should try to avoid defending ourselves and instead redirect the conversation in a positive light. 

For example, if we mention to someone that we're going on a vacation or buying something nice and they make a comment along the lines of "must be nice" a good response would be to acknowledge what went into earning that vacation. We could reply with something like "yes, I've been saving for months" and then try to change the subject. It communicates that we're not ashamed of our success and that it wasn't handed to us. 

We should also be mindful to gauge our audience and to consider if we might be doing too much bragging. We deserve to freely celebrate our accomplishments, but if we're always rubbing our awesomeness in the faces of others (especially those who are in unfortunate circumstances) our behavior can come off as conceited rather than joyful. It's all about finding that balance between embracing our success while also remembering that there are those who are not so fortunate.

Another situation we might find is that if we tend to be empathetic, we may have a difficult time enjoying our success if we know others are suffering. We end up seeing wealth as a shameful thing because we view prosperity through the lens of "someone had to lose out for me to gain". We're constantly hearing horrible stories of poor working conditions, child labor, industrial accidents, famine and drought. It's understandable that we have these feelings when we consider all the ways in which people are exploited for others to have monetary gain.

First and foremost we have to have a reasonable acceptance for the things we can not control. Whether or not an individual purchases a particular item is not going to change a society or a company. This doesn't mean we should disregard our ideals, just that we need to keep perspective about our role and impact in the larger economy. 

With that in mind we should consider how being in a more financially secure position can allow us to advocate for the causes that interest us the most. The most important votes we make are often those which we cast with our dollar. The economy works on the basic principal of supply and demand. The more individuals demand ethically produced goods, the more they will be produced. However, the goods which are the most ethically made are often times some of the most expensive. Being in a better financial position allows us to support the companies with the best practices. 

Also consider how it would feel the next time a friend is in a bind, a natural disaster occurs or your favorite charity is looking for a donation. Instead of sighing and having to turn away, wouldn't it be great to make that gift or donation? Being in a good financial position can be very empowering in this way when we understand the positive impact we can have on other people's lives and that having wealth is not all about taking. 

Overall, when we find ourselves making judgments about those who are wealthy it becomes very difficult for us to allow ourselves to be prosperous. When there is this part of us that disapproves there will also be a part of us that's always going to resist obtaining wealth, because we see it as a negative character trait. We don't believe that we can ever have with those people have because we assume that they're doing something negative to obtain what they have. We throw our money away on the presumption that you can never have what they have because we would never do whatever horrible thing it is that we presume they've done to obtain their wealth.

This may also be reflected in our career. We might keep our standards low because we think that being an executive or entrepreneur is not a realistic goal for people "like us." We might stay in jobs we don't like for too long because we think we should learn to just be happy with where we're at. We hold ourselves back unnecessarily when we limit our vision for ourselves. 

The bottom line is we have to remember we are not abandoning our friends and loved ones simply because we desire or obtain wealth. It's a fact of life that some people do well financially and others do not. As long as we are humble and generous there is no reason for shame.

Be Well! 
- Nicole

Practical Stuff - Quarterly Propserity Check

With the first three months of the year behind us, now is a great time to take a look at how we're doing managing our money thus far. Why now? Most businesses review financial data quarterly. It's a cycle that works well as it is not so frequent as to become tedious, but is often enough to keep us on track.

The first items I recommend looking at are reoccurring expenses. These are things like housing costs, utilities, car payments, child care costs, etc. Really take some time to make sure your list is complete. Everything that you are regularly billed for that has a due date should be on this list. For examples, see the quarterly budget review tab on the home page.

The next step is to take this total and compare it to your net monthly income. This is the amount that you actually receive after any deductions like taxes, health insurance and 401(k). How is it looking? Do you have a lot of money left over and you're scratching your head, wondering where it's going? Or, do you have more bills then you thoughts and are running a deficit? 

If you find that you have a deficit: First and foremost, don't give up! Many of us have been there. The first thing you'll want to do is go line by line and see what can be eliminated or negotiated. Are you paying for a land line and a cell phone? Have you shopped your insurance recently? Are you mindful of utility usage? Are you driving a vehicle that is beyond your means? Are you overpaying taxes? 

A lot of bills can be negotiated, such as insurance, cable and credit cards. If you rent, you may want to shop for a new apartment or look for a roommate. If you talk honestly with your friends, you might even find someone who's ready to take this journey with you. If you have a mortgage, talk to your mortgage company about options that may be available if you're struggling, but want to stay in your home. Or, depending on your level of equity, consider if continuing to live in your home still makes sense.

If you’re at a point where you’ve cut everything you can and you’re still struggling to meet basic necessities like food and housing, there is no shame is seeking out assistance if you really need it. In this situation it may be best to contact your local social services office to see if you are eligible for any benefits that will help you get back on your feet.

If you find you have money left over: You may be surprised that you have more expendable income then you realized. This goes back to mindful spending. You might not even think of yourself as a big spender, but a few nights out, buying lunch every day or a latte addiction can really eat away at your bank account. Or maybe you are a big spender who has that next big ticket item all picked out as soon as payday comes. Either way, we're going to need to dig into the day to day spending to determine where that money is going. It's not that this spending is bad necessarily, but it needs to be understood.

There are a few ways you can do this. If you're like most people and use a debit card. You can use a software program like Quicken or web/app based programs like Mint or Mvelopes which will quickly pull data from your accounts and categorize it so you can get a nice visual snapshot of where your money is going. Another option would be to go through your bank statements and manually sort out your spending. Some online banking systems offer sorting options to help make this task easier. If you don't want to deal with learning new software, or if you don't use a debit card, you can make up spreadsheet to estimate and list out your more variable expenses.

Once you have all of your financial data laid out some obvious patterns and waste will likely emerge. From here we want to enter a four part action plan.

1.    Reflect - Think back on the topics we have discussed and reflect on what areas most reflect your spending behavior.

2.    Budget - You can make a budget using a number of different methods, electronic or otherwise. Whatever system works best for you is fine.

3.    Track - I also recommend a checklist for your bills where you can easily keep track of what has been paid and what is outstanding to help avoid overdue payments and nasty late fees. For day to day spending, I recommend Mint and Mvelopes, but even a simple notebook that you can keep with you is fine.

4.    Automate - Lastly, look at what payments can be automated. For most of us coming up with money for items like taxes and health insurance are a non-issue because the money is taken out of our paychecks before we even see it. The best way to start is with smaller bills and those which provide a discount for automated payments. You may want to consider opening a separate checking account where the amount needed to cover these items is segregates from our other money to avoid overdrawing your account.

Let’s talk more about checking accounts. I actually recommend having two to three checking accounts; one for bills (two if you maintain separate funds for automated payments) and one for daily spending. In fact, it’s best if we don’t even keep a debit card for the account set up for bills. By separating out the amount we have allotted for daily spending we are less likely to dip into those funds.

If you're ready to start a savings plan it's best it’s best to open a savings account at a place other than where we keep our checking account. At the least we should avoid having our savings and checking accounts linked together to prevent us from making transfers on a whim. This may all seen a bit overwhelming, but it can also be very empowering. By taking ownership of our current financial situation we control our money instead of allowing it to control us. When we document our bills and spending we can stop walking around with financial stress rattling around in our heads all of the time. Did I pay this? Do I have enough money for that? By writing it all out we know exactly where we're at. Even if our financial situation is not great, I promise that just getting rid of those nagging thoughts will be a relief.

For further reading I recommend "Financial Peace" and "The Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. His radio show is fantastic as well and very motivating. His blunt style can take some getting used to, but his advice is simple, practical and solid. Also, "The Automatic Millionaire" by David Bach. This book dives more into the benefits of automating our finances as much as possible. The These books have been out for a while so they're readily available through libraries or as second hand copies.

I will be setting up a page specific to budget work as a reference to help you get started. The more budget work you do will help determine what systems work best for you. The most important thing though is to be honest with yourself and follow through. At the same time, even if you find you don't stick to the plan you set up, keep trying. Just having quarterly check-ups can help us from spinning out of control.

Be Well!
-Nicole

Remembering Gratitude

It's a common trap. We tell ourselves if we just had a bigger house, a newer car or could get that promotion everything would be great. The problem is when we finally meet that goal there is always something else to move into it's place. It's good to have goals, but if we never take time to stop and appreciate where we're at, we will always be left with a feeling of inadequacy. The happiness we gain from possessions is shallow at best. If we're having trouble experiencing gratitude, adding on some new thing isn't going to fix that. 

Often times we can become so immersed in obsessing over what we don't have that we don't stop to think about we do have. There are a couple of problems with this. If we can't experience some level of gratitude for the things that are going well in our lives, psychologically and spiritually we won't be able to move forward. 

We end up in a position where we simply can't see the forest through the tress. We may feel that everything is awful and nothing goes our way. We end up becoming so convinced of this that we miss out on what's right in front of us. We can become cynical and think that even when a good opportunity is presented that there must be a catch. We might splurge on something because we think trying to save is a waste of time because we'll never get ahead anyway.

Our negativity can also effect how others perceive and ultimately treat us. If we constantly complain and act cynical others may start to pass us over because they are overwhelmed with our negativity. We may have a hard time being sympathetic to others because we contrast their problems against our own. Friendships suffer, promotions may be missed and we end up left feeling short changed and often unaware that it was largely our own attitude that put us in this position in the first place.

Now, you might be thinking, "not me!" Truthfully though if we are honest I would bet that most of us go through phases of this kind of behavior. Truly though, this is a very difficult matter to confront. It's easy to justify our own pessimism and it can be a lot harder to be optimistic once we get in this frame of mind. Being cynical is a fantastic crutch. If we are victims than we are not responsible for our situation. If people feel sorry for us we can't be held accountable because we just have too much going on in our lives. 

If we're feeling unhappy we really need to think about why so we can avoid this sort of self-destructive behavior. Are you miserable at your job? Are you stuck in a dysfunctional relationship with either a spouse, friend or other family member? Are you having trouble managing illness or other extenuating circumstances? Maybe you're just feeling unhappy and you're not sure why.

We all have our ups and downs, and there is nothing wrong with some occasional retail therapy necessarily; however, if we find ourselves in a pattern where we're always chasing that next new possession to feel better, we need to hit the breaks and re-evaluate.

First and foremost we must pause and remember all that we have to be grateful for. Without gratitude we will always be looking elsewhere for happiness. Sometimes just a simple moment of reflection or pausing to take in the joyous things around us may be all we need to ground us and prevent an unnecessary purchase or bout of negativity.

Another solution is to shift the focus from buying something to doing something. Instead of going to the mall redirect those funds and head to the gym, art gallery, concert or to whatever activity moves you. Think back on hobbies that you've had in the past or things you used to enjoy doing and bring those activities back into your life.

Having a well rounded sense of purpose can help shift the focus off of the negativity in our lives to more productive matters and make those things that seemed so horrible less overwhelming. 

Be Well!

- Nicole