Shop 'Till You Drop?

Typically for those of us who shop a lot, there are some common reasons we use to justify spending money even when we might not be able to afford it. How can we tell if we're shopping too much? Well, here are some things to consider: 

Do you tend to frequently purchase items and either never use them or get rid of them quickly?      

Do you often purchase things you can't really afford?

Do you find yourself with a constant mental checklist of things you'd like to buy? 

If we find ourselves saying yes to any one of these it may be time to stop and think about the emotions behind our decisions to spend money.

"I deserve it!" :
A common thing we tell ourselves, especially when we've spent money on something we can't afford is, "Well, I deserve it!" Maybe it's been a rough week. Maybe we've been sick or mistreated. There is nothing wrong with treating ourselves if it's within our means. We run into issues though when we start using spending to pacify ourselves. There is that moment of immediate gratification, but it quickly falls away when we have to go back to the reality of our situation.  

This type of behavior can manifest itself in a number of ways and can sometimes border on addiction. People do it with food, alcohol, drugs and even TV watching or internet use. These activities are used to numb the emotions surrounding the reality of our situation. The problem with this is that we rob ourselves of time and energy that could be used for more productive tasks. 

"I just need X, and then I'll be happy" :

This could range from a new cell phone to a kitchen renovation. Either way this is an important habit to be aware of because it can mask deeper issues like depression. We convince ourselves that the reason for our discontent is because this one small aspect of our material world isn't how we'd like it to be. Yet not surprisingly even when we get that thing there is something else that immediately takes it's place. Just like when we use shopping as a reward, trying to buy happiness can become addictive and only really succeed in helping us to avoid our more deep rooted issues.

Keeping up appearances:
If you're making financial decisions based on what you think other's might think, you're wasting your time. No one worth your time cares what kind of car your driving, what model cell phone you have or where you buy your clothes. Most people are much more interested in their own appearance and image than that of others. 

There is also nothing wrong with enjoying new trends, but we shouldn't let material things determine our self worth. When we allow ourselves to get caught up in this trap we end up spending a bunch of money on things we don't really care about or want. This can leave us feeling frustrated and short changed when there is not enough money leftover for what we really want.

You also might be surprised that many of those whom you are trying to keep up with feel the same way. I remember a period when my husband and I went without television. After an initial reaction of surprise we would often get a response along the lines of, "Oh, I wish I could do that." Yet despite the hundreds of dollars a year television costs they couldn't bring themselves to pull the plug simply because it's the status quo. 

Magpie Syndrome:

Then there are some of us who just love to shop, often times for something particular like shoes, jewelry, home decor, or clothes. Some of us just love stuff and having lots of it. In these cases there is often a certain rush experienced from the act of shopping. There is often no justification made for this type of spending, and it can often times be the hardest spending habit to recognize because those who engage in it don't think they're is anything wrong with what they're doing. While a "thing for shoes" is not the end of the world if this type of behavior is causing debt or has crossed the line into hoarding there may be bigger issues.

Shopping as an Activity:
Lots of people like to shop which that isn't necessarily a problem if that shopping has a purpose. What we often see though is that some of us will spend hours at the mall, wandering the isles of big box stores or browsing retail websites simply as something to do. Again, this is all about moderation. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with window shopping from time to time, but if we find that we're doing this every weekend we're setting ourselves up to overspend. It's also not the most productive use of time. I once had someone tell me they liked shopping because it was "a way to do something without actually having to do anything." That doesn't sound very fulfilling to me.

Solving Overspending:

If you have the money to spend, but would like to cut back on shopping one of the best solutions is to stop buying and start doing. Whether it's taking up a hobby, activity, enrolling in a class or taking a trip; investing in experiences will offer us more long term satisfaction than a new item.

If money is an issue and we need to cut back on overall spending we should still focus on finding things we can do that make us happy, we'll just need to be frugal about our choices. Talk a walk, read a book, dust off hobby supplies or sporting equipment we once enjoyed. Also check out what is available in the community. Many public libraries offer free and discounted passes to museums and events.

Persistent feelings of unhappiness and inadequacy can never be solved with a shopping trip, a fancy house, or a new car. When we find ourselves overspending for these reasons it's time to cut up the credit cards and take a serious look at our lives in the big picture. Depending on our circumstances these can end up being the time when we realize we may need to seek help from a life coach, a therapist, clergy or even at a wellness retreat. These issues don't happen overnight and are often not fixed easily. We have to first figure out where the source of our discontent is and only then we can begin healing those wounds.

Be Well,
- Nicole