Happy New Year

My Take on Goal Setting and New Year's Resolutions...

It seems hard to believe that another year has come and gone. When I was young it seemed that time moved so so so slowly. I remember being very clear in what I wanted and the agonizing pace at which time seemed move as I longed to reach the ages where I could achieve what I wanted to do. Now I find that the older I get the more I have to make a deliberate effort to slow things down and check in with myself to make sure I'm not just spinning my wheels or even moving away from what I desire. Without taking time to self-reflect and set new goals for ourselves we risk spending years without any real personal growth.

Now let me be clear that just watching myself type the phrase "set new goals" immediately made a part of my brain say "ew, no we don't like goals." When we're young our family and our culture largely dictates for us what our goals should be. From the first day of kindergarten to graduation day, the milestones we need to achieve what we want are largely assigned to us without us realizing it. Then we get to a certain age when we need to start setting our own more personalized goals. 

When I first began learning about goal-setting it involved picking a specific desired achievement and then making a detailed list of objectives to describe how that goal would be achieved. If that works for you - great. For this Gemini, that is a far too rigid approach in most cases. Personally I like to take a more fluid approach toward personal growth. Like most people my enthusiasm waxes and wanes. Instead of feeling like I failed because I only practiced piano once this week instead of four times I try to focus on simple forward motion. As long as by the end of the month I've made some progress in my playing I will be happy with that. It doesn't mean I won't work as hard at it, I'm just eliminating that sense of stress and feeling of failure that comes from unnecessary check lists.

That being said, there are times when specific goal setting is necessary. There are some areas of our lives like personal finance, our jobs and even our health where we might need to be more hyper focused on completing specific tasks on a day to day basis. Maybe you like to keep a clean inbox or make a point to take a walk every day. Creating healthy habits is absolutely the foundation of long term personal growth. It's difficult to grow if we have too much clutter in our lives. Major changes however often require a different approach and an authentic emotional investment.

It's often an oversimplification to simply strive for a particular job position, body type or financial status. To really become motivated and achieve something that's going to be life changing we should, as much as possible, actually want to do it. If our New Year resolution is to "eat healthier" that shouldn't be the beginning and end of our goal. What do we really want to do? Improve our health? Learn new recipes? Be better at meal planing? Breaking major changes down into smaller parts allows us to create a process that can actually be enjoyable rather than a chore and make us actually want to stick with it. 

Weight loss for example is a common New Year's resolution. For many of us though there is so much emotional baggage surrounding weight and food that this task can quickly become overwhelming. Instead of focusing on such a broad goal we would likely be better served by choosing a related goal. We could make a point to walk daily, or eat vegetarian a couple of times per week. If you're a gadget geek trying something like the FitBit might be fun. 

Whatever goal we have it should resonate in a way that we get excited about what we're trying to achieve. 

Be Well,

- Nicole

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - Days 17 - 31

October is over and so is the challenge! Days 17-31 were packed with some great ideas for avoiding spending. A few highlights...

Day 17 - Free Halloween Costumes: I was certain that my daughter would insist on a Disney Princess costume for Halloween this year; however, when I suggested she make use of her dress up clothes and go as a fairy princess she was all for it! While I certainly can't guarantee that children will always be this agreeable, I think often times we adults assume our children want store bought things when they're already happy with what they have.

Day 22 - Sell your stuff: If you're in need of some extra cash take some time to look around and see what's worth selling. You'd be amazed at what people will buy. Even odd little nick-knacks can fetch a few bucks on e-bay. It adds up quick!

Day 25 - Try Bartending (ooops Bartering): Okay, when I was doing the challenge I misread this one. It's supposed to be bartering, but my eyes read "bar tending" (I was thinking they made a typo and formed it as one word). Anyways....I like both. 

Let's start with bar tending. Now I'm not much of a alcohol drinker, but I am a big drinker of coffee and coffee related beverages. Now if you're like me you know that buying these beverages can be a major budget buster. Unfortunately espresso machines are not cheap. There are however some great alternatives. At my house we use a Bialetti Moka Express Espresso maker that can be used on the stove top and purchased usually for less than $50. This along with  a wand-type milk frother, which can be found for less than $10, has saved us a lot of money. Want the coffee shop atmosphere? Turn off the TV, throw on some jazz or acoustic music and dim the lights. Voila!

Now for bartering.... I like bartering because not only can you save some money but it's also social and can be very rewarding. I've had several great bartering experiences. I once traded snow tires for a Nintendo Wii. Last year I dog sat in exchange for having an antique doll house refurbished. More recently I traded my old saxophone for a really nice electric piano. If I hadn't arranged these barters I'm fairly certain I would not have the electric piano, and the dollhouse would likely still be in disrepair (I since donated the Wii). 

Day 27 - Free Family Activities - This is one of my favorites because it echos one of my top pieces of advice which is, instead of buying something - do something! Whether it's a quiet day at home, playing games, going on a hike, bike riding, or finding a local event with free admission there are many ways we can have fun simply by spending time together. Mall dwelling should mostly be avoided. Shop when you actually need something, not as something to do!

Day 30 - Plan for the Holidays - Thanksgiving and Christmas are fast approaching, and if you're like most of us that means some inevitable expenses. Everyone feels differently about the appropriate amount to spend during this time of year, so I'm not going to get into a lecture about what you should or should not buy. The important thing is that we make a plan. Make a list or mark on a calendar what will be purchase, when and the estimated cost. If you're hosting Thanksgiving start buying the non-perishables now. Appropriate planning will help reduce a lot of unnecessary stress and allow us to enjoy this festive time of year.

A special thanks to the Living Well, Spending Less blog for this fantastic challenge!

Be Well,

- Nicole

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - Day 16

Days 8-16 of the challenge were primarily about cleaning and organizing. I am a big fan of cleaning and organizing as part of a holistic financial wellness plan. It can be easy to forget what is shoved in the back of closets. As an example my daughter has become really interested in board games recently. Remembering that we had some board games collecting dust we took a trip down to the basement where she found the game "Clue". Would you believe it had never even been played?!? I don't even remember how we came to acquire it! Thus something that was collecting dust became a found treasure for my daughter.

It can be easy to have a knee jerk reaction to run out and buy a new game, toy, piece of clothing etc without stopping to take stock of what we already have. What about you? Have you ever been cleaning or organizing and been thrilled to find something you forgot you had?

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - day 7

Ok, so maybe I won't post every day. Anyways, I'm back to post about my family's progress toward the zero spending goal. So far it's going very well. I don't have any non-essential spending to report. We did end up doing a rather large grocery shopping on Saturday at the club store we belong to, but that being said we stayed focus on buying only essential ingredients and avoided snack food and beverages.

Day 4: The homework for day 4 was, "plan a meal swap" with the main focus being to cook in bulk. We don't really have anyone locally that we can practically do this with, so we opted to not participate in the swap but definitely did take on the recommendation of cooking in bulk. We've done this before and we're always glad we did. It's also one of the reasons we went to the club store. on Day 4. We stocked up on large quantities of meat and produce which facilitated the created of several portions of Potato Leek Soup, Shepherd's Pie and Pot Roast with fixings. What I liked best was that last night instead of rushing through making dinner I was able to come home, pop the pre-made Shepherd's Pie into the oven and then enjoy a game of Candy Land with my daughter. Not to mention there was far less clean-up after dinner.

Day 5: Day 5 was "eat out at home" day. We haven't done this yet, but I definitely plan on trying the home made Frapucinos!

Day 6: Day 6 was "get a free education" day. This goes back to my #1 money saving tip - "instead of buying something, do something. Personally, I'm working on building my skills on the two musical instruments I play. I'm also taking some time to brush up on my industry knowledge using the free classes available on Coursera. My husband will be back out in the woods hunting next week. Whatever it is, whether the re-invigoration of a once favored pass time or taking up something new by not wasting our days shopping we will find that we have much more time to build more fruitful skills.

Day 7: Day 7 is for "Week 1 Reflection". So far it's going really well. Personally, I'm not a big shopper to begin with. I loath shopping actually, but there are still silly little ways we all waste money even if we're not mall dwellers. I think for my family the biggest realization was that we have to do a better job meal planning, and also to stay away from the coffee shops. We love our mochas, but not enough for them to be a line item on our budget.

The next two days are all about cleaning the house. While I appreciate the gesture, the author of the blog hosting this clearly does not work a 9-5 like I do. Hauling out the house in the middle of the week doesn't exactly fit my lifestyle. So, I'm going to work that in where it works best for me. My husband and I actually did a pretty big cleaning a couple of weeks ago, so I might come up with some alternatives for the next couple of days. Stay tuned!

Be Well,
- Nicole

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero - day 3

I know I said I would post every day and have already missed a day, but in all fairness I was down for the count yesterday with a bad head cold and didn't have the brainpower to formulate a blog post. I'm back on track though and ready to move forward with the challenge. Here's a a bit of a recap.

Day 1 - Went very well. We did send the dog to dog daycare, but if you knew my dog you would know that is a necessity. If he doesn't go at least once a week he becomes impossible. Some might disagree, but I'm calling that a necessity.

Total unnecessary spending - $0

Day 2 - Could have been better. I mindlessly bought some ice cream and a bone for my dog, both which were certainly not necessities. Especially considering I have all the ingredients for brownies and/or a variety of cookies at home if I really wanted something sweet. 

Total unnecessary spending - $8.18

Today - Today is going well. There is one major thing I should mention, however. My husband is buying a new truck today. It's something we have been going back and forth on for a while. He really needs it for his line of work and as much as we have tried to make due with our current vehicles, the time has come for him to make this purchase. To be fair though, we began researching and arranging this before we knew about the challenge so I'm giving us a pass on this. 

Now the homework for yesterday was to clean out the pantry and today's assignment was to do some meal planning. I will be working on both of those tonight. This part is especially interesting to me because I think a lot of people have the misconception that eating well is expensive. I joke, however, that my husband and I ate the healthiest when our income was at it's lowest. When we were first married I was a full time college student. We spent a good amount of time living primarily on oatmeal, beans, cheddar cheese, vegetables and rice. It's actually amazing how many great recipes you can make with these simple foods as a base. Not to mention that your wallet and waistline will thank you for it.

So that's my task over the next 24 hours. Go through the cabinets and see what's for dinner this week. While I don't keep a lot of back stock, I know I have an abundance of dried beans that are waiting to be cooked up. Off the top of my head I'm thinking I have the fixings for Potato Leek Soup, Mung Dal, Vegetarian Chili, Beans, Rice & Tomato (one of my favorite budget meals) and Shttp://www.livingwellspendingless.com/31-days/livingwellspendingzero/paghetti. I'll update tomorrow and let you know if I find any surprises!

Be Well!

- Nicole

What Ruth Said - 31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero

31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero

Whoa, where did September go? I've been very busy with a host of projects over the last few weeks. My jaw dropped when I realized I hadn't posted since August! That being said, sometimes when life becomes hectic it becomes easy to let our guard down when it comes to our personal financial habits. So, I'm taking the month of October to re-evaluate and re-prioritize using the "31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero" challenge from "Living Well Spending Less".

I will be posting daily using Ruth's daily prompts. Today involves setting ground rules. We all have different definitions about what is "essential spending" and there may some things that we're already committed to that will involve some "non-essential spending". For example, being a parent of a pre-schooler I will have some costs associated with Halloween. I'm also part of a wedding party in early November that will result in some expenses. That being said, I can still step back and look closely at each related purchase and make an effort to do it as inexpensively as possible.

We'll see how it goes. Check it out and stay tuned!

Be Well,
Nicole

Why I Quit Candy Crush

The Importance of Breaking Bad Habits

I've never been much into video games, but it seems that every few years there will be that one game (Tetris, JT's Blocks, Snood, Angry Birds) that sucks me in. When this happens it seems no matter how much I try to set limits, I find myself going back for more throughout the day. I'll find any excuse to "take a break" or "go to the bathroom" just to sneak in a session during which I'm certain I will make it past the level I've been stuck on. Maybe you can relate, or maybe not. But, even if it's not a video game habit, there can often be these little innocuous addictions that pop up in our lives that before we know it really begin to affect our overall wellness.

How did I know Candy Crush was becoming a problem? I started to experience cognitive symptoms that felt, what I imagine to be, similar to ADD. I was having trouble remembering things, focusing on tasks, keeping myself organized and meeting deadlines. I became more lax with personal tasks like housekeeping, financial record keeping, and meal planning. I was less interested in leisure activities I enjoy such as reading, writing and sketching. Instead of going for a walk on my lunch break, I would sneak in a few more rounds. Clearly it was time to stop the obsession.

I had attempted to quit Candy Crush before, going weeks without playing, but would inevitably end up convincing myself to play "just one round" and then wind up hooked once again. Like many addictive behaviors it was not going to be enough to "cut back", I was going to have to eliminate it completely. So, as of this afternoon I have officially deleted the game from my Facebook and removed the game from my phone.

Now, for those of you out there who have never been sucked down the rabbit hole of gaming this may sound ridiculous, but truthfully most of us have some sort of insidious coping mechanism that we would be better off with out. It could be drinking too much coffee, too much television or obsessive checking of e-mail and social media. Whatever it is we're all doing it for the same reason; a quick hit of dopamine that makes us feel oh-so-good, for at least a few minutes. It's no wonder why these bad habits tend to manifest when we may be feeling stressed or unhappy.

So think about it, and whatever it is for you, join me and quit it. Pick a date, make a plan, pick a healthy replacement and be a better you!

Be Well!
- Nicole